Ray's Blog

I've started another blog

2007-07-15T00:11:00.001-05:00

Well, I have decided to start another blog. My life is rather boring and I was finding it hard to come up with topics to blog about without running into issues with the fact that I cannot write about the largest part of my life.....my job.

My new blog is:

Grumpy's Hollow

This blog is related to Disney and it's relationship with me.

Road Trip

2007-06-09T22:49:00.001-05:00

Well,

The year 2007 marks the tenth year my wife has been out of high school. We found out a week before that a reunion (of sorts) was going to be held at Hugo Lake in Hugo, Oklahoma. This is where my wife would've graduated from high school if her dad's job hadn't moved her to Southern California in the middle of her Junior year of High School.

Since, she had a greater attachment to her high school in Oklahoma because she lived there most of her life, she decided that is which reunion she wanted to attend.

Fortunately, Nancy was able to get her scheduled shifted so we could get a Friday and Saturday off to drive down there for the reunion.

I took a half-day off of work, we shipped the "kids" off to the "puppy hotel" and hit the road to Nancy's homeland.

For the entire time I've known Nancy, she has gone on and on about the Indian Nation Turnpike and how it is absolutely horrible. From a scenery standpoint, it is 10x better than the drive down I35 S to Houston. But it has one major detractor. Somewhere between Tinker AFB and Shawnee we lose our cell phone signal and we don't get it back until we get to the same point. So the entire time we were gone we'd be without a cell phone.

Well, half-way down the turnpike, we noticed the car was starting to drag and pull when trying to go up hills. It was behaving like my motorcycle does after winter.

Immediately, I just assumed that we got some bad gas. I recently switched to the low octane gas under the insistence of friends who told me I was wasting money by purchasing the middle-grade gas. I was just hoping that we got to Nancy's dad's house (where we would be sleeping) before it died.

We got there alright and Nancy's dad and I went to the gas station to put premium gas in the tank and a bottle of STP. We hoped that it would make the problem go away.

The next morning was the day of the reunion. As the day went on the car just got worse. Our biggest problem was that since we didn't have cell phones we had no way to stay in touch with the other people in the group. So we kept trying to stay with them despite the car running like crap.

Eventually, the "Check Engine" light came on. This was the final straw for me and I insisted that we went to Nancy's dad's house and stopped driving the car before it died for good.

We got to her dad's and he was nice enough to swap us for one of his rather new vehicles where we were able to catch up with the group at the Hugo Rodeo that was going on at the same time.

Well, it was decided that we'll leave the car in Hugo and borrow one of her dad's cars to get home. Nancy had to get to work the next day. Someone was going to take it to the Toyota dealership for us and we'll return with the borrowed car when our car was fixed.

Well, we got a call about the vehicle the day after it was dropped off. Here is where it gets interesting.

Apparently, when we took the car into the shop a year ago to get the 100K mile service, the spark plugs were changed. Whoever did the work left the socket for tightening the plugs in the engine. It took a year (about 14K miles) for it to do it's final damage. It trashed the sparkplug which resulted in one cylinder not firing anymore. It was a simple fix. But, while they were trying to do the inital determination they found a leak in the head gasket. This was very expensive to fix ($450).

Needless to say, we had to make the trip back the next day and I had to take another day off of work. But, we have the car back now and it's running like a champ.

Wasting away in Tornadoville

2007-05-09T00:27:00.001-05:00

Well, it's 12:23AM and I'm sitting in front of the TV switching between network channels.  We are having tornadoes once again dropping all around me.

So far, I've been lucky and they are not close enough to me to warrant the tornado sirens to go off, but I'm afraid to go to bed or risk sleeping through the siren (it's awfully faint from this location).

I haven't even had a chance to hit the showers after my 45 minutes on the treadmill because I didn't want to get an uninvited guest while showering.

My wife just called from the hospital to inform me they have announced a Code Black because tornadoes have touched down real close to them and they need to be prepared for potential victims.

I told her that I'd take a hurricane any day over this.  This is the 3rd night in a row of this crap!  At least with a hurricane you know which way it's headed and you can get out of the way and pray that it turns.  Here, it's like Russian Roulette.

Welcome to Mustang

2007-04-15T23:43:00.000-05:00

Well, Nancy and I were out eating dinner at TGIFriday's and decided that we wanted to see how the property looked at night.

We knew that Mustang was a tad more rural than Oklahoma City and when we had been at the property during the day noticed that there weren't a lot of streelights visible. Those street lights that were visible weren't very tall. So we were interested to see how dark it was and how much light pollution was present. We were kind of wanting it to be dark.

Plus, because it had been raining we didn't really think and work would've been done.

We pulled up and circled around so we could get a better look at the lot and see how dark it was. We got out of the car and was going to walk to the center of the lot and look at the sky.

I took 3 steps into the lot and almost fell on my face. The ground suddenly dropped by 3 feet. Apparently, some work had been done. The two trees that were directly in the front of the lot were gone and they started grading for the foundation.

Needless to say, there wasn't alot of light pollution or I would've seen the pit I fell into.

I got back into the car and we decided to take a quick spin around the neighborhood and see what has improved. We passed the security guard who was asleep in his car.

Well, as we were pulling out of the neighborhood, a police officer came pulling in pretty "hot". The car pulled a U and came in right behind us. I turned to Nancy and indicated that most likely they were there for us so let's just pull over. Nancy pulled over and just sat there.

I'm sure this confused the heck out of this fine person that we pulled over befor his lights were on because it took forever before he walked up to our car. We rolled down the window in anticipation. He slowly peeked into the window with his high powered flashlight blaring in.

As soon as his flashlight hit the "to go" container with nancy's leftover salad that was sitting in my lap he broke out in a big ole smile.

We told him that we purchased a lot in the neighborhood and that we just moved up from Houston and we were just curious on how dark it was because we were hoping for dark.

He told us that the security guard runs a tight ship and calls the cops everytime a car pulls into the neighborhood after dark. We told him that we were going to appreciate that.

He was about to turn around and leave when he stopped and said, "Oh by the way, welcome to Mustang". He smiled, waved and sent us on our way.

Welcome to OKC...Bitch!

2007-03-29T16:59:00.001-05:00

Well, I just got my first Tornado scare......

The siren went off, then the radio did it's Emergency Broadcast sound, but this time it wasn't a test. We were being told to take shelter.

I scrambled to grab my laptops because the information contained within are crucial for my company and my personal finances. Fortunately, my home office is right next to the bathroom that serves as our storm shelter.

I went to go try to grab the dogs which I knew would be a challenge when the warning was lifted. The tornado had already touched down.....15 minutes down the road from where I was.

I called Nancy at the hospital to let her know I was alright to find out that the hospital had already called a "Code Black" and she didn't know why. I told her that a tornado touched down on a highway and took some cars out.

She's in for a long, long night in the ER and hopefully I don't have to do this hokey pokey again and try to get my butt into the bathroom/storm shelter

Model of New Entertainment Center

2007-03-20T22:52:00.000-05:00

I am still playing around with Google SketchUp.

This is my latest foray. Nancy spent and evening measure things and drew up a plan with dimensions and I transfered it to Sketchup.

The stereo components and TV you see are from the available components you can grab out of the repository of objects users upload to Google's Sketchup page. In fact, someone created a 3D model of my Samsung DLP TV and I added it to this model.

Cigar by Impwerx

2007-03-20T22:23:00.000-05:00

Well,

My brother, Impwerx, has struck again. This time dabbling in the world of portraits and not coloring other people's line art. This is pure Impwerx original. Here is what he said:

A brief stint into the world of portrait work. Something about this piece really appeals to me, yet strangely I don't know what it is exactly. About 6 hours or so in photoshop. Standard default brushes, and the texture is the concrete near my house.

~imp

Cigar by ~impwerx on deviant ART

Arrested Development

2007-03-20T22:21:00.001-05:00

I was at the gas station filling up the car with gas. While I was pumping the gas, a local police officer pulled up in the lane across from my car. We started chatting. I was mainly pumping him for information since Nancy and I are new to the area.

Well, I like to use that little feature of the pump that allows you to not need to hold the handle the hold time. I normally have it set to the slowest setting, but I was getting antsy waiting for my 20 gallon tank to fill up. So I grabbed the handle to set it to a faster speed when I guess there was a spark because my arm suddenly burst into flames (I was wearing my sweatshirt).

The cop noticed this as I hit the ground trying to put my arm out. He jumped over and started smothering the flames with a blanket. After the fire was out he threw me up against my car and started putting handcuffs on me.

I was shocked and shouted to him what had I done. It was an accident. He threw me in his car and told me that I was under arrest for carrying a fire arm....

This was a nod to the cheesy joke Kuri posted on his blog

OK Land Rush

2007-03-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

Well, Nancy and I have done it. We have taken part in the Oklahoma Land Rush. Granted it is only 118 years late, but we did it.

We firmly planted out stake down on a nice 1/2 acre of prime Oklahoma red clay with a smattering of cedar trees.

As the lady at the title company said, "We know own land with the promise of a house."

This will be the first of hopefully several blog entries documenting the development and construction of our new residence

Randy Green's Hell Girl

2007-03-12T09:44:00.000-05:00

Well, my brother has managed to eek out some coloring time and has posted another piece on his deviantART page.

So i tried to knock some rust off my coloring talent. As suggested before I tossed some names into my kangol and pulled one out. It was Randy Green's Hell Girl piece that got the magic touch. Anyone can see the pro talent if you look through his gallery. There is a high level of control and style he consistently exhibits. I highly recommend looking through his work, as there is a wealth of information for would be pencillers to digest.

You can just never go wrong with a hellboy, or in this case a hellgirl theme. The series itself is moody and inventive. I came at this piece with a theme. Heat. Everything about this idea of hot, and heat haze is where i was going. Looked at a camp fire the other night to get the idea for the BG. It is entirely self made, which represents a bit of achievement for myself as like most, I tend to pay little attention to the background and instead focus on the main element itself. I tried to get it all in balance to my satisfaction, without sacrificing any of the imagery.

Linework : Randy Green : link

typos and grammar fumbles free of charge.

~imp

You can view the original deviantART page here

Randy Green's Hell Girl by ~impwerx on deviant ART

Sicky McSickster

2007-03-03T16:27:00.001-06:00

Well, no good turn ever goes unpunished....

I was out-of-town helping with a project for my company and as we like to do, we exceeded our goals and delivered results early. That didn't come without a price. Between Monday and Friday I clocked 74 hours and an additional 4 hours today (Saturday). Of those 74 hours, I spent 10 hours traveling between Houston and OKC.

By the time I woke up Thursday morning (after clocking 51 hours), I woke up with the beginnings of a soar throat and cough. So, I did what I normally do when this happens. I start drinking water like it's going out of style. Well, for the first time, this didn't help. My throat just kept getting more sore by the hour. By the time we went out to dinner that night, my voice was starting to get hoarse.

Well, despite being exhausted, I didn't get much sleep. After being out cold for about 2 hours, I awoke in pain. First I threw up and threw up. This must've been from the drainage. Then the pain in my throat hit me. I couldn't have been in more pain if I swallowed a pine cone whole. I tried to suffer through it, but by 2AM I needed to say something to someone because I was just miserable.

So I called Nancy. She was the good nurse that she is and told me the proper things. I needed to drink more water. Well, anyone who has been on a high water diet knows that drinking lots of water and sleep don't go hand-in-hand. You either sleep in wet shorts or you are running back and forth to the restroom. I think the only way one could afford to do this and sleep is if they are capable of putting in their own Foley catheter. Then you can pee and sleep at the same time.

Well, I whined to her on the phone for a bit but I could barely speak so I cut the conversation short. It was at this time that I remembered that when I have a problem with coughing due to drainage, I would prop myself up with pillows. So, I scrounged up all the pillows I could find and build a wedge out of them. This seemed to help alot. At least enough that I got a few more hours of sleep.

Morning came and we swung buy CVS pharmacy to pick up some throat remedies. So I picked up some CVS-branded Chloraseptic® and some cough drops. Both of these seemed to help, but the Muscinex I took earlier seemed to start to make me foggy headed and I had to struggle to continue to be productive at work. Plus, I needed to catch a 5:45PM flight back to OKC.

I caught my shuttle to the airport after it being almost 45 minutes late and made it through security without issue. I was worried because on this trip, I was bringing back all the stuff I was leaving in Houston while i was traveling back and forth since late November. Well, I didn't want to check my back for one 4 fl. oz. bottle of contact lens solution. I know the regulations are 3 fl. oz. or smaller, but I looked and couldn't find a 3 fl. oz. bottle of contact solution in my brand. Well, security didn't say anything.

Then, as luck would have it, my flight was late. Then it was overbooked. Then it was hot, hot, hot. I was sweating the whole way home. I tried to sleep, but it was just too hot.

It wasn't until I stepped out of the OKC airport into the 48 degree air that I realized that the plane wasn't hot, I was. I was still burning up in the cold air.

Well, Nancy had asked me to go get some milk on my way back from the airport. At this time, it was around 8PM and I felt like death warmed over. So, I decide to go to Wal-Mart. I prefer Albertsons for groceries, but I wanted to see if I could get some more knock-off Chloraseptic® and I didn't know what Albertson's selection would be. Wal-Mart is also a tad out of the way, but I didn't want to stop twice.

I get to wal-mart and pick out some drugs to try and help me sleep grabbed the milk and came home.

Naturally, Belle and Coco were ecstatics to see me. I let them out of the confines of their entrapment (the kitchen) and they emptied their little bladders in the appropriate location. Then I fed them. I hit the couch to watch a little TV and maybe play a little XBox 360, but I never really made it far. I was out cold on the couch. I woke up at 10 and dragged myself to the bed where I remained until 15 hours later.

I hate being sick, but soar throats, to me, are a torture worse than death.

Sage Advice.....

2007-02-15T17:25:00.001-06:00

Just because it's in your size, doesn't mean you need to wear it

Model of my Entertainment Center

2007-02-06T22:53:00.001-06:00

Well, it's been a desire of mine to get into woodworking. I was looking around the internet for free CAD programs and ran into Google SketchUp. Granted, it's not a CAD program but it was FREE and looked cool.

So, I needed a project to get my feet wet with. So, I decided that I would attempt to me a 3D model of the entertainment stand my wife and I built a couple years ago when we got our DLP HDTV.

Here is what I came up with.

Model of Entertainment Center by ~grumpwurst on deviant ART

Happiness Is.....

2007-02-06T00:37:00.001-06:00

Finding that sweet spot on your wadded up jacket being used as a pillow and falling fast asleep on the plane.

Ladies and gentlemen... Donny Osmond!

2007-02-01T23:43:00.000-06:00

And that is how Weird Al introduce a new video on his MySpace page.

I have to admit that the most entertaining part of the White and Nerdy video that I highlighted here.

I was just tickled pink when a co-worker pointed out to me that Weird Al posted a video of the entire song being performed with Donny Osmond doing his dancing. So, if you like the self-deprecating humor of Donny Osmond in things like the White and Nerdy video, I present to you Donny Osmond...definitely white and nerdy:

Pork - The Other White Meat

2007-01-28T20:00:00.001-06:00

We have decided to give the grill another go for 2007. On Friday, we cooked some chicken. I've pretty much got that down now. I just have to grill 8 minutes on each side and perfection. Well, I haven't done pork yet and we has some pretty thick chops sitting in the freezer.

Nancy threw them in the fridge to thaw out on Friday night. Well it didn't quite work for us to grill them up on Saturday since we had plans during the day and Nancy had to be at work at 3PM. So, we decided to grill them up today.

Unfortunately, I'm not skilled in cooking pork. So, I called my brother, Impwerx, up and asked for some advice. He simply told me to treat the pork like a steak except that I need to tenderize the chops. He told me to give it an extra kick, to switch the Worcestershire with apple sauce and to add a smidge of cinnamon.

Well, I don't own one of the meat tenderizing mallets. Nancy came up with the idea of using the rolling pin. Since the meat was still vacuum packed we could pound the porkchops as much as we wanted without worrying about making a mess.

We didn't have any canned or bottled applesauce, but we did have those little snack pack applesauces that are meant to go in lunch boxes. Those applesauces also had cinnamon already in them.

So we got out or handy vacuum marinader that we use with our Foodsaver. Nancy opened up one of the snack packs of applesauce and laid it down on the bottom of the container. I rubbed in the Montreal Steak Seasoning an both sides of the chops and laid the meat down on the bed of applesauce. Then we put the rest of the applesauce on top of the chops. We vacuum packed the container and let it sit in the fridge for an hour.

With the exception of my running out of propane half-way through the cooking process, it was pretty painless. Those suckers were juicy and the applesauce combined with the seasoning came out rather nice.

We will be definitely adding this to our list of grilling recipes.

Eviction

2007-01-26T00:05:00.001-06:00

Who are you to ask me to leave?

I made you who you are today.

I gave you all the riches you hold so dear.

You can’t get rid of me that easy.

I am not a tumor that can just be excised.

I am your excuse, your alibi.

I’m who you fall back on when things go wrong, when life is unsure or you don’t know which way is up.

I’m not going to go quietly

I will raise hell

You begged me to be here

You begged me to never leave.

I make you feel right, I make you feel strong,

I make you feel loved when you were alone in this world.

I’m that family member that came to a visit and never left

I am the stray dog that you decided to feed.

Your fear feeds me

Your anxiety justifies me

Your lack of hope ensures my tenure

So you say that you are done with me

That I’m unhealthy for you

I’m not that easy to get rid of

Cause I’m that monster under your bed

Get rid of me if you can

I’m your second skin

Get rid of me if you want

But you’ll end up asking me back

So you say that won’t be happen

I hope you are right

Cause if you don’t your life will be naught

White and Nerdy

2007-01-22T21:13:00.000-06:00

I actually stumbled across this awhile back, but a coworker has brought it to my attention in a whole new manner.

This is an awesome parody by "Weird Al" Yankovic, but I think Donny Osmond in the role of Krayzie Bone from the Chamillionaire video. He is hilarious.

The Mighty Battler of Accumulated Sleet

2007-01-15T00:03:00.001-06:00

The mighty battler of accumulated sleet

Well, as some of you may know, I live in Oklahoma City now and if you've been watching the news you'd know that we just got hit by some severe winter weather.

Nancy and I have been pretty much cooped up since Friday because we've had a constant barrage of sleet falling on our fair land.

Nancy wanted me to dig out the front stairs as it fell, but I felt we should wait until most of it had fallen. Well, that day happened to be today (Sunday).

So, I dug out my thermal shirt and my old snowboarding gloves and face gator and went outside to tackle the sleet.

Nancy had the intelligence and foresight to purchase a snow shovel before the frozen stuff started to fall. Unfortunately, after sitting on the stairs for a couple days, the weight of the sleet must've melted the stuff on the bottom because we had a good half inch of ice on the stairs with about 4-6 inches of sleet on top of it.

So, the snow shovel was kinda useless. Fortunately, I still had my landscaping shovel that we purchases when we built our flowerbeds at the Houston house. It has a flat blade instead of a curved one. It proved to be quite useful.

Nancy came out and took a few pictures because she needed some winter weather pictures to go with some scrapbooking embellishments that she had in her collection.

After getting the stairs scrapped, I had to salt them. So I went to the garage and grabbed one of the 2 fifty pound bags or salt Nancy had purchased with the snow shovel.

Well, it became heavy quickly. I had to walk around the entire complex to get from my garage to the front stoop. So when I got to the stairs, I couldn't hold onto the bag anymore and it fell out of my hands and hit the ground. Well, the bag blew it's sides out and there was salt everywhere.

Fortunately, Nancy brought me a large Ziploc plastic container that I used to scoop up the salt and get it onto the stairs.

Well, now the stairs are clear and I have a sore back, but it was a good outlet to blow off some steam.

Happiness Is...

2007-01-09T15:30:00.001-06:00

Waking up in the middle of the night, expecting it to be almost time to get up and finding you still have 4 hours of sleep left.

The Overprotective Mama

2007-01-08T22:03:00.001-06:00

On my way home from work, I decided to stop by Subway to pick up a foot-long Italian BMT on Parmesan Oregano. This was about 7PM and I was in a tad of a hurry because my shows were starting to come out of the Christmas/New Year hibernation the networks put them into.

Unfortunately, there was a line. The line was moving quickly but there was this lady in front of me that kept getting out of line, poking her head out the door and giving the hand signal that one gives to say "stay there". On one of these trips she looked at me and said, "I have to check on my kid".

I can understand a couple checks while in line, but she was doing this every couple minutes. She even did it a couple times while the people were making her sandwich. I was just htinking to myself, "Wow, either this lady has an unruly kid who cannot be trusted to stay in the car, or she's very overprotective".

Well, I finally got my sandwich and paid for it and this lady was walking out the door right in front of my. She took a hard right out of the door and I saw her child. It was a golden retriever tied to the handrail on a set of stairs near the store. Now, everything made sense. Dogs think that a few seconds out of your sight in an eternity, so a couple minutes must've been unbearable. So she had to go keep reassuring her loved one that she was still there.

I just chuckled as I walked to the car.

Power Tools......Not just for the Y Chromosome Anymore

2007-01-05T22:50:00.001-06:00

As has been the trend lately, I have been been out of town on business, but I had the benefit of being home between Christmas and the New Year. The whole time I was home, Nancy was attempting to get me to hang curtains in the guest bedroom.

All I could remember was the frustration of hanging the curtains in the bedroom. Since they were some meaty curtains that we were hanging in the master bedroom, the curtain rod had to be hung such that the screws were hitting wall studs. For some reason the stud finder wasn't properly detecting the studs because whenever I would attempt to pre-drill a hole I just hit blank space. I took forever to hang those curtains and a lot of choice words were loudly blurted out.

Now, the room Nancy wanted the new curtains hung in are the same as the master bedroom, so I didn't really expect it to be much better. Plus, the curtains once again required a well hung curtain rod. To add to the frustration is that we were missing some screws for the curtain rod. So, I just kept telling her I wasn't going to do it.

I'm a perfectionist when it comes to fixing things and building things. I don't want to start a project unless I know, without a doubt, it will be completed with some semblance of perfection. This of course has led to many projects not ever getting started. It's probably the main reason why I haven't ever proceeded with my desire to delve into the fine craft of woodworking. I don't want to begin a project unless I know I can do it with success.

Well, I digressed.

So I came home from my latest adventure abroad for work and found that Nancy hang just got tired of waiting for me to do it. The Dewalt cordless drill was out and the curtains were up. And the problem of there not being enough screws. She took that complex problem and gave it a simple solution.....just don't put two screws on each bracket.

Firefly

2007-01-05T21:00:00.001-06:00

Here in OKC we have a HD channel from Universal. They play, in excellent HD quality the movies and TV shows produced by Universal.

One of those shows is Joss Whedon's Firefly. I happened to attempt to keep up with this program when it originally aired. But as has happened with many a good show that the networks don't have faith in it got canceled.

Well, I have recently started watching it again. I must say that it was a very good show. I wish it hadn't died.

I must say. George Lucas said that Star Wars was supposed to be a Western in space. What Joss Whedon created with Firefly really is a Western in space. You have people using 20th Century ballistic weapons, riding horses and wearing western-style clothing. But they fly spaceships.

I know that Joss Whedon put out a movie a while back called Serenity in order to tie up loose ends, but I cannot figure out why people didn't want to watch this show.

This show was definitely nothing like Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I didn't find some entertainment merit out of it.

Oh well, maybe the day will come soon when a show can still be successful but not rely solely on the network airtime to be successful. That way a good show, with a solid fanbase can still be made

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T00:28:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting here on the couch trying to get my receipts into Quicken, when midnight hits and at that exact moment my cell phone rings. It was Nancy calling from the ER.

For those who have followed this blog, they know she isn't calling from the ER because she's a patient, but because she is working there. She managed to be away from a patient room at the stoke of midnight to fire off a quick "Happy New Year".

That sure made the night a lot more tolerable. I didn't think it would bother me too much to be spending New Year's Eve all alone, but it did. Nothing like ringing in the new year with the "ka-ching" sound of the Quicken application as I key in entries.

Nancy was only able to give me a quick call because as of midnight they were crazy busy in the ER and all predictions were that it was only going to get worse. I sure hope that she gets to come home on time at 3AM, but knowing how idiotic people are during those holidays that seem to revolve around the bottle, it's probably going to be a nightmare for her.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T21:21:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to wish the 1 or 2 people who read my blog a Merry Christmas. Here's hoping that this year was everything you hoped and that next year brings that much more.

Enough Ramblings to Fit in a One Quart Bag

2006-12-18T23:55:00.001-06:00

I have been an active air traveller since I was in single digits. My mileage really racked up in my teen years when I was logging time between the US East Coast and the Republic of Singapore (where my family had been relocated).

All that time in airports starts to teach you a thing or two about travelling efficiently. I guess that is where I learned to travel with as little luggage as possible...preferably carry-ons only.

Travel has changed a lot since my teen years thanks to the ever changing political environment and the increased desire to use our transportation systems as tools of destruction.

The first thing that happened was that the metal detectors became more sensitive. Then you had to remove your video cameras and laptop computers and run them through separately. Then it became mandatory to remove one's shoes. Finally, you can only take toiletries that are 3 oz or smaller and only enough that fits within a 1 quart bag.

I cannot speak for the other road warriors who spend more time in airport security that they do in rush hour traffic, but I am constantly flabbergasted by how many people seem to totally surprise when they get to the metal detector and are suddenly stopped for violating all these "new" security measures.

Over the years I have developed quite an efficient way to get through the security process.

Before entering the security line, I find a nice place to to the side. I take off my belt and put it in my carry-on bag. I pull my driver's license out of my wallet and put the license in my pocket. Then I put my wallet and my cellphone in my carry-on. Then I check my pockets and make sure everything except my driver's license and boarding pass are properly stored in my carry-on bag.

I then pull my laptop(s) out of my backpack. I loosen up the shoestring on my shoes. Then I enter the security queue. After getting checked by the initial screeners to make sure my ID matches my boarding pass, I get herded to the metal detector and X-Ray machine.

Since I have already prepared, I just have to drop my laptops in bins, slide my shoes off and put them into another bin. If I have a coat, it gets put in with the shoes. I load the bins along with my carry-on bag onto the conveyor and walk through the metal detector.

Now, on the other side is my other annoyance.

Nothing irritates me more than the people who feel they need to get "dressed" right at the mouth of the X-Ray machine. As soon as their stuff gets spit out the other side they start putting things on.

Please people, gather your stuff and move to another location away from the flow of traffic and deal with your re-dressing. This is about as annoying as those skiers who feel they need to drop to the ground right after they get off the ski lift. Some of these people have the gaul to get irritated with me when I try to reach around them to get my stuff as it comes off the belt. I just gather my laptop(s), my shoes and coat and walk to the chairs that are typically located right after you leave the security area. Then I can take my time putting everything back in it's place.

I for one would be all for a measure that would allow for separate lines for more seasoned travelers. Heck, I'd even allow myself to be subjected to extra background screenings so that I can get special clearance so that one doesn't have to go through this kind of ordeal with the casual traveler

Ramblings from the Road

2006-12-18T23:26:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm still traveling for the job. I'm still doing laps back and forth to Houston. I moved away from the city but it's tractor beam is locked onto my ship and won't let me escape it's pull.

I was sitting in the airport at OKC and doing my usual thing while waiting for boarding to begin: Listening to my podcasts and people watching.

I must say that my observations are giving some credence to my theory that air travel and being a female business traveler don't mix. Or at least, they don't mix painlessly.

I don't know how many females I saw doing the 100 meter dash down the concourse trying to get to their gate before they stopped taking passengers. Now, the male business travel has an advantage.

The advantage is what is often the advantage to when it comes to running.....footwear. The man has his shoes. Even though there are many colors, shapes and sizes a man's dress shoe can come in they all have one thing in common. That is they have a very low heel and flex very nicely.

This cannot be said for many of the choices of footwear the typical female executive has chosen to accentuate their business ensemble with. I must preface this commentary by saying that I'm referring to those females who still try to stay trendy and hip in their style of dress. You will find the female executive that must be a "road warrior". I say this because they are wearing sensible shoes. But this is a hard assessment to make. I don't know how many female flight attendants I have seen that are wearing 6 inch stilleto heels.

I have heard women say that they must suffer for their shoes, but the suffering that would ensue from a serious sprain or, even worse, a broken ankle doesn't seem worth it to me

Good Sportsmanship

2006-12-12T22:37:00.001-06:00

I had the pleasure of watching my nephew play basketball this past Saturday. His team won and won big, but we will never know what the actual score was because the league has a rule that the score can never be more than 10 points apart.

After the game the kids go to the back and get their stickers for "best defense", "best offense", "Christlike behavior". In actuality every kid walks away with some kind of "award".

I don't know how I feel about this. I played recreation league sports when I was my nephew's age and I don't remember such rules being in place.

I pretty much was always on a losing team. Fortunately, we didn't lose every game, but we lost alot. I personally think there is a lot to be learned from losing and even more from losing big. How can you know that you suck if you cannot look up at the scoreboard and see a 100-20 loss?

Also, I don't think every kid should get an award for just participating. I think it really dilutes the specialness of the other, real awards for real accomplishments. I struggled to get awards for being most improved. I felt better about the accomplishment because I knew the number of awards were limited.

What's the point of sports if everyone walks away a winner?

Maybe this is why the United States is losing it's edge in the international community. Could it be the fact that we coddle our children and make them feel all special and warm and they are all winners be taking away their drive to be better than everyone else?

Dashing through the Snow....

2006-12-02T14:09:00.001-06:00

One of the components of my job is that there is travel involved. This past week I had to take a jaunt down to H-Town to spend some "Face Time" with my company. Being that I now live in Oklahoma, they are starting to forget what I look like and only know me as my avatar on my IM.

The trip itself was uneventful. I went down there and did what I'm paid to do. It was the trip back that I was dreading the whole time.

Unlike my previous trips back to Texas after moving to Oklahoma, this one didn't involve a 7-9 hour car ride. I got to enjoy the luxury and comfort of an airplane. I left the driving to the capable hands of the Continental Airline pilots.

It was my first night down there that my wife called me and informed me that the weather guys on the news were saying that we were going to get some winter precipitation on the day I was coming back. She further dampened the news by informing me that her coworkers at the hospital told her the Will Rogers World Airport isn't shy about shutting down. So, I knew then that it was going to be fun coming home.

Each day, I got a new report on what the weather prediction was going to be. It just kept getting worse. Then Wednesday came. The day before my "supposed" departure home. The storm rolled in early. The temperature dropped colder and sooner than predicted. This can be a blessing in disguise. If it's really cold you can avoid the peril of freezing rain. Also, if the ground is cold enough for long enough, any snow or sleet you get can accumulate instead of turning to water and then freezing.

I checked the airport's website and Continental's website and there were no notifications about the cancellation of my flight.

Departure day came. I was only working a half day and wanted to get to the airport soon because I didn't know how this whole airport shuttle thing I was using worked on the trip back. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I checked the airport and continental again and no closings and my flight was listed as still "On Time".

A co-worker had to loan me a coat and gloves because it was 20 degrees in OKC and with the windchill it was in single digits. This wasn't the forecast I had when I packed so all I had was a sweatshirt to keep warm. I didn't want to freeze solid trying to get back to my car.

I got to the airport and the line through security was short. I was standing on the other side of the security putting my shoes and belt back on when I looked up at the board listing departures and noticed a flashing red notation "CANCELED". I knew what I was going to see..... sure enough, it was my flight.

So I called Nancy up quickly to tell her that my flight was cancelled and at this point I didn't know what the game plan was going to be but I'd call as soon as I knew.

I quickly found a Continental desk and talked to someone. Sure enough, my flight was cancelled. I was given a guaranteed seat on the 9:58PM flight out, but there were several before and if I was willing I could try to get on one of them standby. I was like, "Hell Yeah!". I knew if I had to take the 9:58PM flight, it would get me in around midnight which would only mean the situation would be worse.

Then the guy at the desk gave me the bad news. I was on the standby list for the next available flight, but it was on the far side of Concourse C. I was on the farthest away point in Concourse B and I had to take a tram to get between concourses.

So I did the only thing I could do. I utilized that training I got during the Singapore days when my Dad's company's travel person liked to give us 30 minutes between connecting flights. I strapped down my backpack and took off like OJ Simpson in the old Hertz rent-a-car commercials. As Forest Gump said, "And I was runnin'". I made a few wrong turns because the signage at George H.W. Bush International Airport (otherwise known as IAH) are atrocious, but I got there with a few moments to spare. I went to the desk, showed them my standby boarding pass and was told to step to the side with the "others" and they'll be calling names shortly.

The "others" was a group of 20 or more people. Apparently, my flight was one of two flights cancelled to OKC. So, I sat patiently talking to the "others". Mainly, we talked about the weather where we were going. By now, we've heard that the snow was accumulating fast and they were expecting 6 inches or more.

As soon as we saw that the plane was holding the Lamar University Basketball Team, I knew I wasn't getting on board. By this time, I still hadn't told Nancy what was going on because I didn't want to get her hopes up. Plus, my cell phone battery was on one bar and all the plugs were occupied.

Eventually, they made the announcement that anyone who had a confirmed seat better get on the plane because they are about to start giving seats away. I was still not hopeful. I was right, I didn't get on the plane, but I did see that one lady, who had a confirmed seat, got screwed. She ran up as they were closing the doors to find out that they gave her seat away. All she was told, was that she "should've been there on time".

At this point, we were told to head back to the same place I was on Concourse B to try and get on the next flight at 6:18PM. The current time was 3:00PM. Fortunately, this time I could walk back.

I got back to Concourse B and checked in for Standby on the 6:18PM flight. Now where they had us waiting for this flight was on the very end of Concourse B. It was basically a bus terminal. There were 5 gates lettered A - E with buses parked outside to transport passengers to the planes waiting on the tarmac. It was freezing in here despite the hundreds of people crammed in the large holding tank. Those 5 gates all had giant sliding doors that were constantly opening and closing. Now, you see, by this time Houston had a big temperature drop themselves. It was 40-something outside.

At this point, I called Nancy and gave her an update. I told her my cell phone battery situation and how I was worried I wouldn't have a phone for my drive home through the snow. She was very adamant that I find a plug.

So I started looking for a plug. There was only one plug in this entire holding tank and it was being blocked by people sitting in seats and they were not using it. So I decided to start wandering. I kept finding plugs, but I kept finding people tethered to them. It's not until you need a plug that you start noticing how many people work at the airport. Everywhere you look, there are laptops tethered to the plugs.

By this point, it was about 4PM and I hadn't eaten all day, so I decided to grab a #1 Value Meal at McDonald's in order to recharge before trying to find a plug. I must say, I love me a Big Mac. Nancy developed a taste aversion to McDonald's after getting really sick back in college. Her sickness didn't have anything to do with McDonald's, but since it was the last thing she ate, her brain has made the association. Well, I was alone and I could eat it so I did.

I wandered back to the tank and grabbed a seat where I could keep an eye on that lone plug. I should state a correction, I did find another plug, but it was near the bathroom. I didn't feel like having people stepping over me to get to the bathroom.

Eventually the person who was occupying the space near the plug got up and left and I took the seat. I hooked up my cellphone and called Nancy.

I got the latest weather report and found out that they were calling for it to get worse before it gets better. The highways were ice rinks covered in snow and wrecks were the news for the day.....great....

While I waited for 6:00 to show up, I was able to get a bit of work done.

Finally the time came for them to start calling standby passengers. I quickly logged off my computer and ran to the desk. As I said, this was a large holding tank so all the overhead announcements were stepping on each other. I didn't want to miss my name and I didn't want to wait until 9:58PM to fly out of here.

My name was called! But we were told that there was a strong possibility the plane wasn't going to leave because it was near whiteout conditions in OKC.

I called Nancy as I was on the bus to let her know that a) I was on my way to the plane b) it might not take off

After sitting on the plane for 30 minutes, everyone was starting to wonder what the holdup was. Typically, one the standby people get on the plane, they shut the door and leave. That wasn't happening this time. Well, it turned out that they originally planned on only allowing half the passengers on the plane and to put on extra gas in case the plane needed to land at a different airport or circle a lot before landing. For some reason they changed their mind. So, they had to remove all the extra gas they put on.

So now, we are at the point where we are on our descent into Oklahoma. The pilot came over the loudspeaker and told us to look out the window to see what we were up against. I pulled up the shade and looked out. Everytime the lights on the wings lit up, all you could see was driving snow. Plus, you couldn't see the ground. All you could see was clouds.

Eventually we broke through the clouds and we were very close to the ground. The runway was covered in snow. I'm not a nervous flier by this time I was a bit concerned. Snow isn't exactly the idea landing surface for an object that is attempting to go from several hundred miles per hour to a complete stop.

We came down with a thump and kept thumping. I looked out the window and we were going over small snow bumps that looked almost like speed bumps, but they were created by the blowing winds. I'm sure it helped us slow down.

Once I was in the airport, I could see the people sleeping everywhere who got trapped there. I thought to myself, "At least they are trapped here instead of their cars"

Now I had to try and remember where I parked my car. I knew it was near the elevator, but I forgot which floor. Now is the time I was glad for the coat that my coworker loaned me

I found my truck, but some idiot decided he was going to park mere inches from my driver's side door. So, I had to climb in on the passenger side.

My truck almost didn't start. I guess the cold did a number on the battery. I let it idle for a long time to build up some heat before heading out.

Just to illustrate how strong the winds were. My truck was parked in the innermost part of the garage and there weren't any openings to the outside visible. There was snow accumulated on all the vehicles

I made my way out of the garage and as I pulled out, I was greeted with a blanket of snow. So much snow, you didn't know where the road was. I just pointed my truck toward the pay station and hoped I didn't run over and curbs. This was very sketchy driving. I have a lot of experience driving in different snow conditions form my days living in Colorado. But, this was the first time I've driven in these conditions with a truck. I do know that trucks are rear-wheel drive vehicles and without added weight in the back, they can fishtail on snow and ice.

I was experiencing the difference of driving a truck as I made my way to the pay station. If I hit the gas too much too quick, the back end would start to slide out. I made it alright and paid. Then it was the trek to find the road to the highway and the various exits

I knew as long as I took my time and other drivers didn't get in my way, I'd get there. I took my time, but the other drivers didn't stay out of my way. People in lesser vehicles than mine were just blowing by at 40+ mph. There was no exposed asphalt and the snow was packed and about 3-4 inches thick. I was just waiting for one of these idiots to hit me.

To top it off most of them were flashing their lights at me to tell me to get out of their way. Trust me, there was plenty of room on either side of me to go around

I finally made it to highway 44 to get back home. The highway started out pretty clear. At least, one lane was. Everyone kind of fell into a line and spaced themselves out. We drove about 30 MPH. Then the idiots were back. They were the ones who had SUVs or trucks and felt they could drive close to the speed limit.

Now you have to imagine the environment. This is a 4 lane highway with only one lane being used. So you have this massive amount of space to the left and right. These people would come rushing up on your rear, flash their lights then blow by on the left or right. A few people decided to roll down their windows to yell at me, laugh at me, or tell me I'm #1 with hand signals.

I finally made it to my exit, I pull off the highway and slowly make it up the large steep off-ramp and then I get what I dreaded.....a red light and I'm having to stop in deep snow. The light eventually turns green and I slowly press the gas. Nothing. Just spinning tires. I give it more gas and I slowly creep forward and then traction. I make the turn and make my way toward home.

Then I see what I thought I'd never see..... kids doing doughnuts with their jacked-up 4-wheel drive trucks on the road. The road to my house is a minor highway and these kids were playing like it was a parking lot. I just hoped they didn't hit me.

Needless to say, I got home without an issue. A normally 15 minute trip from the airport took over an hour and I'm left with one heck of a memory

The Motorcycle Diaries

2006-11-07T21:42:00.000-06:00

Many people who know me wouldn't think that I had a motorcycle, but I do. It is a 1996 Yamaha Virago 535 Special Edition.

It was a somewhat impulsive purchase I made on my 30th birthday. It probably was the single event the brought on my getting married because shortly after purchasing the steel horse, I met my soon-to-be wife.

Well, I needed to take the bike over to the Tag Center to get the VIN inspected so I can get my Oklahoma Title. It was a very frustrating day. The bike started without issue, but as soon as I tried to throttle up, it just conked off.

Well a friend of mine gave me a few things to look for and I decided to try and deal with those things today. I took the seat off the bike so I could get to where the fuel filter and other important hoses are and noticed that the battery was severly bulging.

It turns out that the vent tubing for the liquid battery had somehow gotten kinked and was preventing the gasses from escaping. I probably caught a major explosing before it actually happened. As soon as I unkinked the tube, I heard this loud whoosh of air like you'd heard out of an air compressor and the battery went back to it's original shape.

Well, I needed to get the battery out to check the fluid level because I couldn't get a good angle from within it's housing. I normally would just remove the two fuel lines than ran overtop and pull it out. But, I guess I have neve3r done that before with a full tank of gas, because when I pulled the tubing off this time, gas starts shooting out everywhere.

It was a geyser of gas coming out of the where I pulled the tube out and from the tub itself. I was frantically trying to get the tub back in place. I was successful in replacing the tubing, but I was soaked in gas from the waist down and it was all over the floor of the garage.

I took an entire roll of paper towels to soak up the gas on the floor and I think I started seeing pink elephants from the fumes eminating from my pants.

I guess it's time I break open the wallet and purchase a repair manual

One more RN Marches onward

2006-10-26T00:35:00.000-05:00

Well,

I have always tried to be the best husband I can be, but we all have our weaknesses and faults.

One of my biggest weaknesses came out this week. Nancy sat for her NCLEX examination in Oklahoma City on Monday.

I have always known my wife is highly intelligent. After completing her first degree in Sports Medicine she sat for the National Licensure exam for the National Athletic Trainers Board of Certification (NATABOC) and passed it on the first sitting. It is rumored that only 30% of those who take this exam pass it the first time.

My wife also graduated Cum Laude from Texas Women's University with a BS in Nursing. Most of the time she hardly even studied much to the chagrine of her classmates who spent many sleepless hours preparing for the exam.

Even though she wasn't a straight 'A' student in Nursing like some of her cohorts, when it came time for the benchmark exams, she blew the roof off them. I told her that it must be because she is absorbing the data and not cramming in the minutia of the details required for A's on individual exams. Those people who were getting the A's on the individual exams didn't do as well on the Benchmark exams.

Well, due to beurocratic red tape in Oklahoma, Nancy had to be submitted to a curriculum audit in order to get permission to sit for the NCLEX exam. This took almost 3 months to happen. Meantime, she is working as a Graduate Nurse in the ER here.

Nancy only got 75 questions on the exam. This is the bare minimum. The maximum is 256 questions. The test is an adaptive test. This means that for every question you get right, you are given an even harder question. If you get a question wrong, you get a slightly easier question and more of the same to determine if you know the material. The purpose of the test is to determine if you are proficient in the material or not.

By only getting 75 questions means either you are extremely proficient or you are extremely non-proficient. Since she got quite a few pharmocology questions, which are a weak point for her, she thought there might be a possibility of her failing.

Now here is where I wasn't the best husband. Everyone was telling her that they knew she passed the test. My response......"What is the plan if you don't pass?"....groan.

I'm the kind of person who prepares for the worst and all I could think of was her failing. I knew she was smart, but I have this running theory that the elements are out to get me and everyone around me. So, by marrying me, Nancy gets to deal with the bad luck that comes from being me.

Nancy tries to tell me that she's always considered herself lucky and that by marrying me, I have inherited her luck.

Well, today, I think her luck beat out my bad luck. I logged on to the Oklahoma Board of Nursing site and saw that she passed her exam and is not a Registered Nurse in the fine state of Oklahoma

When one door closes, another window must be opened.

2006-10-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

Well, this marked the first week that Nancy started working the shift that she was hired to work (3PM - 3AM). It started on Sunday night.

To me it was no big deal, I'd head over to my brother's house and eat some food and watch his family play the PS2.

Well, as soon as Nancy took off, I decided that I would install the new programmeable thermostat we got from Lowe's. I just cannot stand to use a thermostat where you set it and have to change it manually whenever you want the temperature to change.

Firstly, the part of the wall that holds the thermostat isn't in an easy to get to area. There is a treadmill in the way and an antique china hutch. So I had to move the china hutch to the left to make room on the wall for the new, wider thermostat.

Naturally, it wasn't a simple task like I thought it would be. First I had difficulty figuring out how to remove the face off the old thermostat so I could get at the screws to detach it from the wall. Eventually I had it figured out but not after a few choice words were rolling off my tongue.

I prefer to work these kind of projects when my wife isn't around because I don't have to be subjected to her disapproving stares when words that are on the "banned" list are uttered.

So now I have the old thermostat removed and I lined up the new thermostat and found out that the holes in the wall from the old screws were in perfect alignment to the screw holes in the new thermostat. I was sure it was a good sign. I screw the back of the new thermostat in, snap the wires into their appropriate place and put everything in it's place and step back to admire my handiwork.

At this time I knew I wasn't going to make it to my brother's house by 5:30PM for dinner, so I call to tell him. He tells me to just show up whenever I can make it.

Well, I go to program the thermostat and noticed that the thermostat wasn't flush up against the wall. So I pop the face off and notice that the screws don't tighten down to the wall. So unscrew the entire thing because I was going to use the little thingies that came with the thermostat that you stick into the drywall to give the screws some "bite". Well it looks like I was lucky and I could just push the "thingies" into the wall and tap with the hammer to push them flush.

I wasn't that lucky. One tap of the hammer caused the thingie to bend over sideways. I was pissed and more "banned" words began flowing. So I pulled out the instructions to see what size drill bit is suggested. I go out the garage to get my drill bits and a pair of needle-nose pliers. I use the pliers to pull out the thingie and use the drill bit to open up the hold some more.

I'm the kind of person who throws all the extra parts from projects into my tool box. So I spent the next 30 minutes looking for some extra thingies because I don't tend to use them. I was sure the one I ruined was not useable anymore. I wasn't lucky enough to find a thingie of the same size so I just grabbed one from the tool box and mumbled my way back to the thermostat.

Well, I got lucky and the the thingie was still useable so I tapped both of them into the wall and was able to screw the thermostat plate tight against the wall and got the thermostat reassembled. Everything seemed to be working.

So I called my brother to let him know that I was done with the thermostat and all I needed to do was feed and walk the dogs and head on over.

So the dogs got taken care of and I decided I should put my tools away before heading to my brothers. So I head out to the garage and as I make my way through the door, I pull the door behind me out of habit so the dogs won't run out. As I walked into the garage, I heard a click and immediate turned around screaming, "NO!". I knew what I had just done. I locked myself out. I reached to check the doorknob fully aware that the answer would be that the door wasn't going to open.

You see, the new house we are in has a locking doorknob. There isn't a deadbolt like what I'm used to. I'm not used to the lock being on the doorknob so out of habit, I just closed the door since I have always had to manually lock the door iwth a key.

Well, the first thing I did was looked to see if there was a window that wasn't locked. Which there wasn't. But there was a window, that for some reason wasn't on it's track.

I called my brother to tell him I wasn't coming because I was locked out. His first suggestion was that I break out a window. I didn't like that idea because I didn't want to piss of my wife or the property manager. His next suggestion was that I knock the doorknob off the door. This would cause the part of the door that has the lock on it to be removed and therefore rendering the door openable. Well, just as luck would have it, the hammer was locked in side.

My sister-in-law suggested that I try to find something flexible enough to slide through the side of the door to pop the latch, but that was unobtainable too.

Well, I decided to walk up to the property manager's office to see if there was anyone there, but there wasn't. So I walked back.

Well, as I was digging through my toolboxes for the umpteenth time, I noticed a roll of very stiff electrical wire that was left over from an installation of a garage door opener and I looked at it with a hint of possibility. I was wondering if I could fashion a loop on one end and fish it through the crack in the window and pop the other latch. After about 10 tries I got it and was in. Granted the window only opened a little bit and I had to do a limbo number to get through the window.

Well, I was going in feet first because I'm better balanced that way and step in dog crap. Apparently, my dogs snuck into that room and pooped on the floor near the window. But it didn't matter, I was in the house.

I immediatly called my wife and let her know I was no longer locked out of the house just in case she got the first message I left when the ordeal all started. So that she would know that I wasn't sitting on the back stoop with only my cellphone.

Afterwards, I called my brother and let him know I was in the house now. He asked me if I was still coming over and I told him that I would if he was still willing to accept the company. He asked me to grab a few Texas beers I had in the fridge (beer from Texas has a greater alcohol content than Oklahoma beer). I grabbed 4 Shiner Bocks and hit the road.

That beer sure hit the spot....mmmmmm

Elsevilla's Girl Lc Style

2006-10-04T08:30:00.000-05:00

My brother has posted another coloring piece. Per his DeviantART page:

This was a quick one about an hour to an hour and a half, with 45 minutes later on as clean up.

You can view the original page here.

You can view the original line art here.

Elsevilla's Girl Lc Style by ~impwerx on deviant ART

The Acceptance of Charitable Service

2006-10-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

Well, on Monday I drove down from Oklahoma City back to Houston. For all practical purposes, I made a 450 mile trip so that I could mow the lawn on my house in Houston I haven't been able to sell thus far.

When I got to Houston on Monday afternoon, I wasn't able to mow the lawn because it was pouring outside.

So I was able to get the lawn mowed this evening. After cooling off and getting shower, I went across the street to return to our neighbor their keys we had in case of an emergency.

Well, my neighbor is LDS and he was trying to get me to allow him to mow my lawn so that I don't have to drive all the way and back just to mow. I'm having a hard time accepting his offer of charitable service.

I think it has to do with one or both of two things:

I was always taught that one doesn't get something without an expectation of something in return. In other words, if he mows my lawn, he'll expect some kind of favor in return
I am somewhat of a micro-manager and I wouldn't trust that it would get done to my satisfaction

This is really bothering me

Whitney & Osama?

2006-09-29T22:20:00.000-05:00

So I'm listening to one of my podcasts earlier this week and it was mentioned that Whitney Houston has decided she's had enough of her husband Bobby Brown and is leaving him.

Am I the only one that finds it interesting that within a couple months of the world finding out that Osama Bin Laden has a craving for Ms Houston that she's leaving her man.

Could it be that Whitney decided that she's had enough of the 80's bad boy and now wants to make sweet, sweet love with the current ultimate bad boy?

Happy Birthday to Me....WDW Day 1 (Part 1)

2006-09-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

September 8, 2006

Well, as I said before, I was spending a vacation with my wife at the most Magical Place on Earth.

Today actually started yesterday. After putting in 10 hours at work, Nancy and I took Belle back to the hospital that did her surgery to be boarded while we are at Disney. We just told her that she's going on a spa trip for awhile. Once we had Belle safe and secure in the care of the loving nurses of Gulf Coast Vetrinarian Hospital, I needed to go to a doctor's appointment. That took forever because as we all know, doctor's never see you at the appointed time. By the time we got home, the sun was setting.

I quickly mowed my lawn which will most likely look like a jungle when I get home despite the fact that it got a trim before my departure. Then I had to rearrange the garage so my Toyota Tundra could fit inside. I didn't want to leave my nice truck outside as bait to would-be car thieves. Then we had to go drop Coco off at grandma's house for her 10 days of only-child living.

By the time all this got done, it was late, but we still had to clean the house and finish packing. Since we are going to be gone we needed to make sure the house was show ready.

This meant we went to bed around midnight and had to get up at 4:00AM to catch a 7:45AM flight (damn homeland security and their need to check my bags with a fine tooth comb). I set the alarm and went to bed. Somehow, when the alarm went off, I must've turned it off and rolled over. This is an extreme rarity for me. I'm always a slave to my alarm clock. Fortunately, I woke up at 4:25 AM and noticed the problem. We got up and I got dressed and loaded the luggage in the car while Nancy got ready. We were out of the house quickly and we still got the airport at my predetermined time.

You see, it takes a lot of math to factor a wakeup time. I knew IAH was saying that you had to be there 1.5 hours before loading. Since loading was at 7:15AM that meant I had to be at the airport at 5:45AM. Then I knew it takes about 30 minutes to get from the off-site covered parking to the airport. THat means I had to be at the parking lot at 5:15AM. I knew it takes 45 minutes to get from my house to the parking lot. Which means that I had to leave the house by 4:30 AM. Now the tricky part, figuring the Nancy-factor. I know on a normal day it takes 45 minutes for her to shower, perform her skin maintance regime and eat breakfast. This time she already showered before going to bed, wasn't going to eat breakfast, so I had to guess. I gave her 30 minutes, that's why I said a 4:00AM wakeup. Fortunately, it took her less than 30 minutes to get ready and it took less than 45 minutes to get to the airport. So we got to do ALOT of sitting and waiting

The flight was not without it's drama. While sitting in our seats waiting for everyone else to board, the usual log-jam formed as people put all their carry-ons in the overhead compartments ignoring the unwritten rule of only one bag per person. Well, one lady was standing there waiting for the non-english speaking people to get into their appropriate seats. Apparently, this passanger didn't care that the seating arrangements were breaking up this latino family and felt they should've thought of that when they booked their flight. She was very vocal about getting the aisle seat she paid for. Well while all this was going on, a person of asiatic descent and most likely still lives in the region, since he also spoke little or no english decides that he was going to do the kind and courteous thing of moving through the log jam like Emmitt Smith on Super Bowl Sunday. When he pushed passed this vocal lady, she told him to f-off and shoved the crap out of him. That caused some tension because the poor fellow (not really because he was being most rude) almost hit the floor.

Needless to say, all those in shouting distance of this lass was glad when the flight attendant announced the destruction of all cell phones. Not really, but I'm sure that's what people think is being asked of them to turn it off. That was the only thing that shut this lady up because we were getting to listen to her recant over and over again the details of "Shove-Gate 2006".

Besides that, all was fine with our flight. We landed in Orlando without incident.

We had decided to forgo the free Magical Express shuttle service from Orlando to our resort which came with free baggage delivery and went with a towncar. Some of the Disney-themed forums I visit made it clear that it could take awhile to get to your resort based on where you were on the drop-off schedule since the busses went to all resorts.

As was described to us, the gentleman who was to be our driver was in the baggage claim area holding a sign with my name on it. I really felt important :)

He stood with me while I got my luggage and helped me haul it outside where he told us to wait while he got the car. While this was going on I was telling Nancy that the towncar would be just as good as a limo because we were originally planning on getting a limo since this is also our honeymoon. But a limo was an add'l $100 on top of what a towncar cost.

As we were standing on the curb we see our driver pulling up with not a towncar but a nice long white strech limo. He gets out and Nancy and I told him I thought we had a towncar. He looked at us, smiled, and said, "Surprise!". Somehow we got bumped but I don't know who is responsible.

Since Nancy has never been in a limo, this was a real treat for her. When we got to the Animal Kingdom Lodge, I swear we saw people looking at us getting out of the limo wondering who we were.

Amazingly, our room was already ready for us at 11:30AM. We were taken straight to our room on the concierge floor. We decided to go whole-hog on this trip and booked the Platinum Package with a concierge level room. Basically, everything but the basic snacks from the carts is pre-paid like on a cruise. We just have to tip the housekeeping (or as they call it at Disney....Mousekeeping).

Once we dropped off our bags, we decided to go to the Animal Kingdom since it was close, it closed at 5 and allowed us time to prepare for my special Birthday dinner at Victoria & Alberts (the AAA 5 Diamond restaurant at Disney's Grand Floridian Resort).

Since we hadn't eaten all day we decided to hit up the Rainforest Cafe since it was near the entrance and it was available to us on the Platinum Package meal plan (from what the waitress told us, that's the only meal plan it was on). I must say, it's harder for me to order a meal when price is of no object than when it is. I'm cheap, so I usually order a nice cheap burger, sandwich, or chicken fingers. I decided to go with the shrimp sampler and Nancy had the chicken and ribs. The highlight was the volcanoe cake for dessert.

We really enjoyed our food and left thoroughly stuffed.

The Animal Kingdom is host to one of Walt Disney World's newest rides, Expedition Everest. After we ate, we decided we needed to check that one off the list and since it was a new ride and lines were to be expected, we felt we should do it first. We made haste to Asia to get in line. It wasn't hard to find it. At the Animal Kingdom, signage was excellent, but you almost didn't need that to find Everest since you couldn't miss the giant mountain piercing the horizon.

When we got to the ride, there wasn't the line running outside the staging area like we expected and the sign informed us the wait was 15 minutes. We were stoked because 15 minutes is alot more tolerable than an hour. Well, despite the sign saying 15 minutes, there really wasn't a line. We walked right up to the ride vehicle.

Everest was awesome!!!! Nancy and I were really amped up about this ride. Disney did alot of promotion for it thorugh some TV specials and we were really looking forward to this attraction. We were not disappointed. We were so stoked we got right back on after getting off the ride. This time, I was asked to carry a red plastic card on a lanyard. I was told that they time how long it takes to get from being handed to me to being handed to the person on the other end of the line. The ride was as fun the second time as the first.

After two rounds on Expedition Everest we felt we should try to do something else. We decided the Dinosaur would be fun. Once again, no wait. Just right onto the ride vehicle. This ride was a classic Disney dark ride, but was really, really bumpy and alot of what I call the shock factor. Dinosaurs suddenly appear in your face making alot of noise. I probably wouldn't choose to ride this one again, but I wouldn't protest if someone else did.

After Dinosaur we made a mad dash to a restroom. When I came out I found Chip and Dale having fun with my wife. They were wanting to know where her husband was. You see, we were both wearing pins denoting that it was our honeymoon. I have a lot of respect for the Cast Members who wear the costumes every day. I was standing there in shorts and a short sleeved shirt and I was drenched in sweat. They had a lot more material draped on them and no real way to get a breathe of fresh air.

At this time we needed to head back to the resort to get ready for dinner. We made our way back to the busses and stopped at shops on the way.

We are settled in

2006-09-26T10:42:00.000-05:00

Well, our possessions survived the trek from Houston to OKC. The moving truck was here at 10AM on Friday morning. It took some time for the driver to figure out the best approach to bring the truck into our new community.

I must admit the guy was a great driver. He ended up deciding to back the truck in and had to navigate around a parking lot while doing it. He treaded that sucker in their nicely.

The next thing that needed to be tackled is the two small flights of stairs leading to our front door. One of the men on the crew had the ingenious idea of using ramps to go from the truck to the door, thereby bypassing the stairs. It was easily setup and worked beautifully.

It took the movers only 4 hours to unload the truck. This included getting the appliances into their new homes and setup. They also masterfully squeezed our very heavy and long couch into our living room. It wasn't a straight shot, but they made it look simple.

I must say that I highly recommend our moving company. We used Daryl Flood who is an affiliate of Allied. Despite the fact that to me the trip from Houston to OKC is a long haul, to the moving industry it's no different than a trip down the street. Therefore, the nationwide movers won't touch the job. They lateral it over to their local affiliates. That is how we ended up with Daryl Flood. From talking to our driver it sounds like Daryl Flood operates in more places than just Houston so I believe I'll be using them again

Into the great wide open

2006-09-20T23:12:00.000-05:00

Well, the movers finished with their job at 6PM. Nancy and I stood there watching the giant orange Allied Moving truck disappear into the horizon waving as 99% of our possessions were onboard.

Tomorrow, begins a new chapter in our life as we face the reality that we are indeed moving out of this house.

They're Here

2006-09-20T13:09:00.000-05:00

I'm drafting this entry while the moving company is here. So far so good. These guys are quick and careful. It's been 3 hours and I'd say half the house is on the truck.

The disgusting thing is that now that furniture is disappearing, we are noticing a black film all over the carpets. I, at first, thought it was dirt from their shoes, but it wasn't. It was a layer of dog hair from our Coco. Man, the vaccuum cleaner is going to get a workout when the moving is done

Moving Day

2006-09-20T02:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 2:00AM Central Time and the movers are coming to finish packing and moving us to Oklahoma City. I still have alot of crap to get organized in my office before these guys show up.

I hate moving.....

New Blog Entries Coming Soon....

2006-09-17T16:09:00.000-05:00

I'm currently sitting at the Orlando Airport on my way back from a fantastic 10 day trip to Walt Disney World. I'll be back to blogging in the next day or so.

I have a lot of family and friends that want to know how my trip went, so I will be posting my trip reports to my blog for easier distribution. Hopefully, my writeup will be entertaining enough to keep my readers interested

When you wish upon a star....

2006-09-07T11:59:00.000-05:00

Q: So, Ray, your wife has just graduated from college, what are you two going to do now?

A: We are going to Disney World!!!!

Well, folks, it's time for Nancy and me to take a much deserved vacation. This will be a slash vacation ... Birthday Gift (for me)/Graduation Gift (for Nancy)/Belated Honeymoon (for us)

I don't know what my internet connectivity situation will be like at Disney, but if it's there, I plan on trying to post something. But definitely when I get back, I plan on blogging my trip report.

I have a pro flickr account and we'll be uploading alot of pictures

Belle Before and After

2006-09-03T22:01:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, you guys are tired of hearing about my dog, but Nancy and I were amazed at how quickly she's healed. Here is a side by side comparision of her from the day we brought her home and 6 days later:

Belle's Surgery Incision

Originally uploaded by rharkness.

Belle after 6 days

Originally uploaded by rharkness.

Update on Belle Part 3

2006-08-31T21:49:00.000-05:00

Belle is home!

Actually came home yesterday, August 30th, but she is a handful. That's why I've been lax blogging an update. Despite the fact that she's home, she still needs constant attention and care.

The doctors warned us that she'll be coughing alot and that we have to feed her very carefully. What we have to do is make little meatballs out of canned dog food and feed it to her one piece at a time and make sure she completely swallows between meatballs. This is because she kinda has to relearn how to swallow properly. Part of the problem was that the flap of skin that helps control where air and food go was overgrown and part of the breathing problem (in addition to the airway collapsing). So what they had to do was some resculpting of the flesh. This results in the potential that if she doesn't eat patiently she could accidentally inhale her food. I'm not too worried about her though. I have the same problem. I cannot talk and eat at the same time without nearly choking on whatever I'm eating.

Nancy has been spoiling the heck out her. She hardly lets her walk on her own. I think we are going to have an even worse monster on our hands when the healing is done. We are also supposed to keep her as calm as possible.

This is no easy feat since she doesn't believe anything is wrong with her. She is always trying to jump up on things or down from things. Also, whenever Nancy leaves the room (or house) and comes back she gets all excited. The funny thing is that when Nancy leaves, she remains very calm with me and just sleeps. Then when she comes home again, she's excited again. But this also hold true for our other chihuahua, Coco.

The surgeon was telling us that everyone in the ICU was knocking on any piece of wood they could find and would never talk about how well she was healing loud enough for her to hear because they were afraid of a jinx. We were told that she's ton quite a few surgeries on dogs like this and our dog has healed the fastest she's ever seen.

So here's hoping we are through the woods on this one, but Belle is still a candidate for lung infections and infections from the surgery. But she's our little trooper.

Thanks to all who had our little girl in their thoughts. I'm guessing some good energy was sent her way

An Update on Belle Part 2

2006-08-28T22:42:00.000-05:00

Well, 5 o'clock came without word from the animal hospital. Nancy being the concerned parent that she is, decided to call to see what she could find out. I told her to not bother the hospital because the surgeon most likely was still in surgery. We knew that there was at least 4 surgeries scheduled for today.

Nancy got ahold of one of the nurses in the ICU. The surgeon was still in surgery as I suspected. They had several emergency cases come in that extended the surgeon's day. From what the nurse told Nancy was that Belle was doing fine. She has won over the hearts of the staff and every time someone comes over to her cage to straighten it up, she's there all smiles and ready to jump in their arms.

That news seemed to help appease Nancy for awhile. The nurse she spoke to said that we should hear something between 6PM and 7PM. Well that came and went and she was getting kinda worried. I told her that either she's still in surgery, busy calling all the patient's parents, or decided she'd call tomorrow because it was late. So we decided to go to dinner. We went and got sandwiches and came back.

Around 8PM we heard from the surgeon. She said that she had to implant around 7 prosthetic rings to support her airway. She needed rings that went down to her first ribs on her rib cage. We were informed that her practice was to keep the dogs intubated for 45 minutes after getting out of surgery to make sure there isn't any potential for paralysis. For that 45 minutes the dog is in the lap of a nurse getting some TLC. We were told that at almost exactly at the 45 minute mark Belle was letting everyone know that she was ready to get that tube out of her throat. Once she was extubated, we were told that if it wasn't for the swelling you'd never know anything was wrong. Then the surgeon told Nancy that she had to lower her voice so Belle couldn't hear, but she was absolutely amazed at her progress. She's progressing faster than she ever expected or has seen and if things keep on this path, she might be home by Wednesday night.

Belle's next hurdle is going to be eating. She'll get her first solid food tomorrow. It will be wet dog food (food from a can) rolled up into tiny balls.

That's all we know at this point and thanks for all of those people that had our little girl in their thoughts

An update on Belle

2006-08-28T14:43:00.000-05:00

Some people who read my blog have told me that they want to be kept informed about how Belle is doing.

We got up early this morning to take Belle to the surgeon. The paperwork we got told us to be at the hospital between 7:15 AM and 8:00AM. So we took off from the house at 6:40AM. Belle was all confused because her routine was screwed up and she didn't get any breakfast. Coco was confused because she was baby-gated into the kitchen but Belle wasn't with her.

Well we hit the highway and just as I feared we ran into traffic. Not just any ole traffice but the kind where you are only moving at 10-20MPH. In an hour we had only travelled what the previous day had only took us 20 minutes. I was stressing. But we eventually got there with 5 minutes to spare

We filled out the necessary paperwork and sat down and waited for someone to come get her. We weren't there waiting for long. Nancy gave her hugs and kisses and handed Belle over to me. We had to say our necessary goodbyes in case things went badly and this was the last time we saw her alive.

I am usually the cold hearted bastard of the bunch when it comes to feelings so I was taken aback by the fact that I actually felt a little something as I walked away from Belle after she was handed off to the medical personel.

We didn't hear anything from the hospital until sometime around noon. The call was from someone in the recovery room. Everything went well. They had just extubated her and she was real quiet.

Now we await a call from the surgeon to find out how successful the surgery was and anything else she needs to tell us. Plus, Belle needs to survive the recovery process.

All I know, if that it feels like something is missing here

Organization is the Key

2006-08-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

Mr. Eichmann was my 12th Grade math teacher in North Carolina. He really made math fun. Besides his very apparent passion for the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (The Tarheels) he also had a passion for organization.

A day didn't go by without him uttering the phrase, "Organization is the Key" and he meant it.

It turns out it's a good phrase to live by. Now those who know me really well and have actually seen either my work office or my home office will know that I haven't really taken the phrase to heart. My wife, on the other hand, lives by it.

When she was a student at Texas Woman's University studying nursing, she began every semester with a trip to Wal-Mart to buy organization supplies. That usually entailed buying three ring binders for every glass, colored post-it tabs and colored highlighters.

Well, her organization fetish isn't limited to the classroom. We were going to the Galleria area because we had to take Belle to the surgeon and they had to run some tests on her that was going to take over an hour. So we decided to go to the Galleria Mall to kill some time. Well, on the way there, we passed The Container Store. Nancy isn't one to blow by a store which derives it's business through providing organizational products. Plus, she is looking for a better way to organize her scrapbooking and quilting supplies. So we stop and go in. We didn't really see anything of use until we got to the end. There were these plastic containers that are designed to store your shoes.

Nancy decided that she was going to pick up a box of 20. I noticed that the boxes for men's shoes were more expensive than the ones for women. So I decided to see if my Size 8 shoe could fit into a woman's shoe box. Unfortunately, it couldn't so we picked up 4 of the mens shoe boxes.

We got home from our trip to the Galleria area and Nancy quickly went to the closet and started boxing up her shoes. Up till now, our shoes resided either at the front door on a shoe rack, or along the floor of our walk-in closet.

The beauty of these boxes is that you can stack them and see into them. So now, all our shoes are neatly boxed away and are on the top shelf of our closet. Boy does our closet look better now without all the clutter on the floor.

This is an animal hospital?

2006-08-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, our beloved Belle will be having surgery on Monday. The surgeon operates out of a hospital in the Houston. For those familar with Houston, the hospital is tucked away in the Galleria area.

When you walk into this animal hospital, you'd swear that you were in a medium sized human hospital. But you realize rather quickly that this isn't the case. Everywhere you look there are dogs, a few cats, and maybe an exotic animal or two.

There are departments just like you'd expect to see in a hospital. There is Oncology, Dermitology, Gastrointronology, Orthopedics, etc. Of course, this hospital also had the requisite waiting areas with all the outdated magazines. The walls were covered with professional portraits of hospital staff with their pets.

They even have canine gurneys. It was kinda funny watching the staff transporting the dogs on these gurneys. They had high sides on them like a child's crib but no front or back. The dogs, wouldn't lay down and would try to stand as the gurney moves forward. It's almost like what I imagine a dog would look like if it was trying to surf.

They even have a fully staffed ICU for their surgical cases and seriously ill. From what we've been told, they even prefer to hire RN's instead of vet techs because their own studies have shown that the recovery rates are higher with RN's.

I have to say I'm impressed and never believed there was such places in this world. I felt much more comfortable with the idea that our dog will be in their care.

Lady Belle Von Wags-A-Lot

2006-08-23T22:06:00.000-05:00

We call her Belle for short. She's our 7lb fawn colored Chihuahua. We found out early in her life that she had problems with breathing. SHe would cough alot. Our first vet just wrote it off as Kennel Cough, but eventually over time, we found out that it really was a congenital defect called a collapsing trachea.

It's rather sad to see her. She runs around trying to have a good time like a 4 year old dog would like to but she just starts hacking and coughing. She really sounds like a goose when she gets going. All the neighborhood kids always ask us what is wrong with our dog which Nancy promptly tells them that she has bad asthma. Adults on the otherhand think we are choking the crap out of our dog.

Unfortunately, in the 4 years we've had her it has finally gotten to the point where she really doesn't want to do anything anymore but lay around. Our vet recommended a surgeon who happens to be a pioneer in airway surgeries in small breed dogs. Nancy went to see her last December and found out Belle was a strong surgical candidate. The only problem was that the recovery is long and if anything went wrong, she wouldn't be able to cope while trying to go to school at the same time. So we have waited.

This summer has been especially hard on Belle, but we finally made it to Nancy's graduation day so we made an appointment to see the surgeon again.

Belle is scheduled for surgery on Monday. We will not be able to visit Belle after the surgery for anywhere from 3-5 days. Since the surgery involveds her airway, the doctor cannot take any chances of putting undo pressure on her airway so the prescription is boredom. The more bored she is the less stress on the airway and what dog isn't excited to see their family. So therefore, no family visitation.

This is going to be very stressful for Nancy. Since she is young we are told that Belle's chances are good, but with any surgery there is risk.

I know she is a dog, but she is like a child of ours. Some people have think we are wierd but we don't care. I think pets should be given every chance if you have the means to take care of them. To mean that is part of the definition of responsibility

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

2006-08-21T13:41:00.000-05:00

Your Career Personality: Independent, Insightful, and Ingenious

Your Ideal Careers:

Architect
Artist
Business strategist
College professor
Computer programmer
Mathematician
Neurologist
Philosopher
Photographer
Video game developer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

What would you do?

2006-08-20T22:10:00.000-05:00

Nancy and I went to the movies on Thursday. What the movie was isn't important since it doesn't really have anything to do with this entry.

Before the movie we were being bombarded with the ads that now have become a part of the pre-show before the previews. One of the ads was for a new show coming on NBC this Fall called Heros. It appears to be about a bunch of people who find out they have special powers. One of the people, a teenage girl, finds out that irregardless of what she does to herself she cannot get a scratch. She is impervious to harm.

Yeah, this is a comic book like premise, but it got me to thinking. What would I do if I suddenly found out that I could not be harmed?

Would I still be scared of my own shadow and afraid to take risk or would i done a mask and cape and fight the things that go bump in the night or worse would i become the thing that goes bump in the night?

Another Fine Adventure

2006-08-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

Here it is, another Sunday and it's amazing how much the wife and I got done in the past week.

I'd have to admit the most excitement was when Nancy ran to the aid of a fellow human being, but the rest of the week was not boring either.

The purpose of our trip was to get Nancy's urinalysis done for her new job and to get a TB test. While there she found out she can also knock off the drug dosage exam which she did.

The other purpose of the trip was to hopefully find a place to live up there. Well, Nancy found a place she likes. It's about 1000 sq ft smaller than our current digs in Houston but we were planning on getting something smaller. It will allow us to pare down our possessions. To get back to the basics, the bare essentials. Plus, we should be able to save some money. The monthly rent is $500/month cheaper than my mortgage and property tax bill. Unfortunately, we cannot seem to unload the house in Houston.

Nancy was also successful in conquering her quest for the perfect dress for our meal at Victoria & Albert's at Walt Disney World. Since we are eating there twice, she conquered twice. I must admit, that I found the dresses to be stunning. Now that Nancy has found her shoulders it really has opened up a whole new world for her in regards to fashion choices.

I'm going to have to go get a new suit now. The suits I own are huge on me now. When I tighten up my pants with a belt they look like I'm wearing a potato sack. With Nancy having these great dresses, I need to look nice standing next to her

I managed to work from the hotel room the whole time and managed to pretty much kill myself. I must say, I've never been much for respecting ergonomics, but the chair and desk in the hotel were not comfortable. By the time we left Oklahoma City, my neck was killing me from hunching over the desk and working on my laptop.

This was the second week back to school for my neice and nephew and they managed to bring home to the family that little bug that kids like to bring home from school and got my brother and his wife very sick.

To give you an example how sick my brother got, he actually went home from work early so he could rest. My brother never takes a sick day. He follows a philosophy that you save the sick days for when you are feeling great. If you feel like crap you go to work.

Because of the sickness, Nancy and I didn't get to see my brother and his family much. We were afraid we wouldn't get to see them at all, but we got fortunate in the fact that my brother was feeling better by Friday. His family and I went to our favorite restaurant in the area....Red Robin! I love me some Mushroom Burger with American Cheese....yum!

Fun was had by all and then Nancy and I got to take the 7 hour drive home. We took a quick pitstop along the way to visit some of Nancy's family which turned out to be a real treat. Nancy got to show off her new dresses and her sister got to show off her new house. I don't know what I was expecting expecially since every house they've had before was of a different style and age. But I had to admit it was really beautiful. Since she lives along the path to OKC, I'm sure we'll be stopping off again in the future.

Well, that's all I liked to say about that

This is a job for.....

2006-08-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

Nancy!

For awhile now, Nancy has been craving seafood. So, we decided to drive down the road to go get some Red Lobster (for the seafood lover in you). Lunch was awesome! I love me some shrimp scampi...yum!

Well, after we paid our check we were slowly rolling ourselves toward the exit when we noticed a man sprawled across the floor in front of the hostess' podium. Nancy immediately sprung into action!

I must say, I've seen Nancy be helpful before. She loves to help people cross the street, get in and out cars. But this time, she was helping someone who was in medical distress. Three people from the restaurant helped the gentleman get back into the wheelchair that someone from his party brought and then Nancy started doing all the stuff you'd expect a nurse to do when you were in the hospital.

She was there taking his pulse while asking him questions. She did a quick assessment to determine if he got a concussion and trying to determine if he was in immediate danger.

The manager alerted Nancy to the fact that they called 911 and if they should turn them back. Nancy was quick to point out that if it was her decision she would make sure the EMT's arrive.

Meanwhile, I'm just slowly trying to get out the way. I got myself to the bench the farthest away from the action and hid. I hate being the center of attention, so in a way (a way that I feel guilty about) I was hoping nobody associated me with her.

The funny thing was that the hostess came up to me and asked me if I needed to be seated. I told her that I was with my wife and pointed toward Nancy. The hostess told me how lucky I was. Something I am constantly reminded about every day.

Well, the EMT's quickly got there and Nancy and I just slid out the front door and left the man in the capable care of paid professionals.

Well blog-people, that was the excitement for the day. Hopefully everyone had a memorable yet good day.

3 Cheers

2006-08-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

So I can just hear the roar through my Ethernet connection, "Ray! What did you do this weekend!" Well let me tell you

We hosted a cookout celebration for Nancy in honor of her successful completion of Bachelors of Science in Nursing curriculum at Texas Woman's University.

Now if I tried to convince you that I was excited and eager for the honor of having 20+ people (some being children) over to my house, then I'd be lying to you. I am an individual that lives and dies by my routines. I don't like to carry on "small talk" and I'm not comfortable if I'm not talking about work.

When it comes to parties, I just don't make it a practice of attending them. When I was dragged to company parties under penalty of termination, I was the one sitting on the couch in the corner. If it was at someone's house, then I was the once sitting in the corner watching TV.

My wife has a veracious appetite for the social. She loves attending get togethers and always wanted to host one at our house. What better opportunity than to celebrate her graduation from college.

I was politely told to fake my excitement and if I ruined her party I would rue the day. So I let her do what she wanted.

Since I was the designated grill-master (master being the laughable term), I immediately called the true grill master of the family....My brother....And asked, nay, begged for help. With his excellent guidance I knew how many bratwurst to buy and how many burgers we should have on hand.

I was actually amazed that almost everyone who was invited ended up showing up. Even her only brother, who lives about 2.5 hours away and who is very difficult to get out of his neck of the woods, showed up with his fiancee and kids. I think fun was had by all.

I even was even able to kick the brats up a notch. My brother asked me to try a new preparation technique and it proved to be a hit. This time, I had actual bratwurst connoisseurs in my presence and they were just nodding their heads in agreement after the first bite and giving me the thumbs up. Definitely an ego stroker!

My brother-in-law's fiancee made the cake and it turned out to be a masterpiece. Granted, it went through a slight mishap on the way to our house. Apparently, my brother-in-law took an offramp too quickly and caused the cake to slide in the box and messed up the icing on one side. So, after a quick trip to Wal-Mart to pick up supplies, she quickly had it repaired and we got the joy of eating the frosting she scraped off to make the repair.

The most amazing thing was that the dogs behaved. We were really worried about how they would fare with that many people wandering within their domain. We were especially worried about Coco. She is really skiddish around strangers and we had 20+ of them running around. She would run and hide in the bedroom and then poke her head out of the bedroom door every now and again and look to see if everyone was still there. Sometime she would wander out, make a couple laps and then run back to her hiding place.

When it was all said and done, I didn't ruin Nancy's celebration and I made a few more fans of my grilled hamburgers and sausages.

So blog-izens, that's all I have to say about my weekend.

Defected's ARAQUIEL-A

2006-08-12T21:10:00.000-05:00

Well, my brother has put up another piece of coloring work. He's taken on another one of Defected Angel's pieces. A link to the original can be found here

Defected's ARAQUIEL-A by ~impwerx on deviant ART

Graduation Day

2006-08-11T08:15:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday August 10, 2006, Nancy completed her Fast Track BSN Program at Texas Woman's Univeristy! She has conquered her Everest. This was a grueling accelerated Nursing Curriculum where they crammed the usual 24 months of material into a 15 month timetable.

Out of the 20 people who started, I think only 2 dropped out either due to not meeting academic requirements or familial obligations that interfered with the ability to meet the demands put on them as a result of an accelerated timetable.

I'm very proud of Nancy. When she got her Bachelors of Science degree in Sports Medicine from Brigham Young University her goal was to just get out and not fail. Any support she received from outside the university was non-existent. Thus, she finished with a 2.91 GPA. I like to refer to that period of her life as B.R. (Before Ray).

As she went through this program I was aware of her past foray into higher education and I attempted to be the most supportive person I could. Granted, at first, I was a despot at best at trying to get my wife to stay focused on the task at hand. I was such a dictator it put fears in Nancy's mind about what kind of parent I would be to school aged children.

Well, after some "come to Jesus" meetings with my wife, I started to let up. I still had to stay on her a bit and try and motivate when the pressure was too much. Nancy is a chronic procrastinator and somehow still gets acceptable (A's & B's) with little or no studying.

Well, when it was all said and done, Nancy is graduating with a 3.698 GPA! The downside is that she is missing Magna Cum Laude by .002 GPA points (if my calculations are correct), but she is still graduating with honors (Cum Laude).

She has a job already waiting for her. It's in Oklahoma City (yes that means we'll be moving) in an Emergency Room. This is where she wants to specialize since she thought it would be the best marriage of her experience in Sport Medicine with her newly gained experience in Nursing Medicine.

It just so happens that it was far easier for her to get hired into an ER up there than it was to get hired into one in the Houston Medical District where they expect a certain amount of experience before letting you come in. So this move is more for her than it is for me. It will give her the experience that she need right after graduation that she'd have to wait 2-5 years to get a shot down here.

So now, a new form of reality is set forth for my wife. And a new adventure begins for us as a couple......

Mall Detox

2006-08-06T19:08:00.000-05:00

For those who don't know me real well, you'll probably be shocked to know that my wife and I have had quite a run with the LDS lifestyle.

In regards to my involvement, it slowly snuck on me. I started hanging out with some people that introduced it to me and let me try it for free. Next thing you know, I'm hooked and cannot quite leave it behind. It's amazing how many people, on LDS, are out there. They could be your neighbor, your family member, or even your co-worker. There are some tell-tale signs but you have to look for them. One such sign is as a strong desire to tell you about their cool older brother.

My wife on the other hand was born into this lifestyle. She really didn't have much of a choice on what direction she went down. She tried a few times in college to escape her dependence on LDS by smoking and drinking at college contrary to her university's co-dependant attitude.

Well, as of today, we are 2 years LDS free. We are on the wagon. Our footsteps felt lighter having gotten that giant monkey off our backs. Nancy had a harder time kicking the habit since she has been living with it her whole life. Giving up certain things, even though she didn't feel they were bad for her, was hard to give up because it was such a part of her. But she has slowly gotten over those things. Her mother introduced her to the sweet nectar of the vine and her sister helped her broaden her appreciation of the libation. On top of that she's learned that shorts come in lengths shorter than knee-length. I've been told that clothing can be liberating and therapeutic.

But, my female sources have told me that nothing is more therapeutic and liberating than shopping. Hence, the topic of this blog entry.

Here in Texas we are experiencing the annual ritual known as Tax Free Weekend. Anything clothes or other back-to-school related items costing less than $100 would be sold minus the sales tax.

We went to the mall on the premise of getting me some clothes for our trip to DisneyWorld in September. Since I only own 1 pair of shorts and an array of t-shirts my wife hates, she felt it was a good time to buy some clothes and save 8.25%.

Well after a fruitful trip to Old Navy, the official outfitter of Team Ray, we wandered the mall to try and find Nancy some new shoes for our Disney trip. Well, as luck would have it, we couldn't get to the Lady Footlocker without passing by that bane of the dyed in the wool, balls-to-the-wall, hard-core LDS user’s existence......Victoria's Secret (what is her secret anyway). Nancy turns to me and says, "I want to start wearing some strappy tops, and that means I need a strapless bra, should I buy at Victoria's Secret or Dillards". I told her to buy wherever she can get the most comfortable bra. So Victoria's Secret it is.

Now I'm a man who always was turned into a blithering idiot around pretty women and even more around pretty women in sexy lingerie. So for me to walk inside Victoria's Secret is like hanging a lump of Kryptonite around Superman's neck. Where do I avert my gaze? It's hard to walk around looking at one's feet. Needless to say, my wife found two bras that she liked and it was off to find tops to go with them. After all, a woman can't just buy one item of clothing. It must be accessorized. What better accessory to a new bra, other than a matching pair of undies, than a new top?

After all that looking I have these things two things to say .....

My wife has a great set of shoulders which all this time have been hidden underneath those sleeves all these years, and
They need more man chairs in women's clothing stores.

Well, that is my story of our day of detoxification at the local mall, or what I more aptly like to refer to as the de-mormonification process

Defected's Barfarel

2006-08-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

My brother has posted another piece he has colored on his deviantART site. To see the Defected Angel's original piece my brother used as his source, click here.

My brother never ceases to amaze me. His talents are always growing in regards to his artistic talent.

His latest endeavor is carving. He creates molds out of whatever he finds laying around and then pours Plaster of Paris into them creating the stock material he will work with. Then he carves it with sharp instruments. I have seen some of his finished pieces and they look like they are made out of stone.

Phonebooks

2006-07-30T10:19:00.000-05:00

I got another phonebook dropped of at my doorstep. I wonder how many trees are cut down to make the paper that is used to compile all the phonebooks printed in the United States in a calendar year?

I cannot think of the last time I've used the phonebook. I just simply go to one of the many online searches and find what I'm looking for. I'm kinda partial to http://www.smartpages.com but I'm sure there are others.

Is the phone book obsolete?

What a pleasant surprise

2006-07-20T14:46:00.000-05:00

There was a very loud knock on the door which got Belle and Coco barking because an unfamiliar noise can not be heard unbarked.

So I walk to the door and peek through the window beside the door to see who it is. We have solar screens installed which allows me to see out but the people cannot see in (as long as it is brighter on their side than mine so one must be careful about walking nude with the lights on at night if you don't shut the blinds). What I saw was two middle-aged women and a girl that looked about 5-6 years old. I originally wasn't going to answer because I didn't recognize them, but I thought that it might be Nancy's new visiting teachers. Despite the fact that we haven't attended an LDS church in 2 years they still come by to visit her. I know how difficult it must be to come to a house where your message must be not so willingly received so I answered the door.

As soon as I answered the door I heard, "I'd like to give you a message...blah, blah, blah) and I caught in small print on a glossy stack of flier in the lady's hand JW and Jehovah. Great. The Jehovah's Witnesses.

My last encounter with a JW standing in my doorway involved a heated discussion that mainly involved my trying to get them to leave and they wouldn't go. This time, all I had to do was listen to their invitation to some conference they were holding, accept their flyer and wave as they walk away. They did try to use the current situation between Israel and Lebanon as a selling point to convince me the Second Coming is near.

At least this time I knew better to keep my mouth shut. If I had said something like, "If I couldn't accept the LDS what makes you think I'll like your church?" I'm sure I would've never gotten rid of them.

Oh What a Night

2006-07-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't get much sleep last night. I just couldn't seem to get my mind to relax. Then once I did manage to close my eyes for a bit I kept getting haunted by the same dream.

I was apparently in college. What college I do not know. I was still living in my childhood bedroom in Durham, NC. A room I haven't stepped foot in since 1986. A room that technically no longer exists since that house burned down a couple years after we sold it. Apparently, the owner cleaned out the fireplace and some of the ashes were still hot and they stored those said hot ashes in the garage and it caught the house on fire.

But I digress.

The weird thing is that Wally is in my dream in the role that he holds in real life....my best friend. The haunting nature of this dream is that we have final exams starting the next day and apparently, I have neither studied for them nor even taken the effort to attend classes all semester. Well, you see, in real life Wally hates college just as much as I do. But in my dream, he was not only prepared, but on top of everything. I kept calling him to try and find out what classes had exams the next day but he wouldn't tell me.

Needless to say, my alarm went off this morning right when I was getting to college and walking into the exam hall (which I must say looked awefully similiar to the one I went to at my high school I attended in Singapore). I was walking in and not knowing what test I was taking.

I wonder what I feel unprepared for. I'm obviously under great duress about something, I just don't know what

Lactic Acid Buildup

2006-07-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

I must thank my friend Wally (not his real name). He has gotten me back into the gym. It's the perfect partnership. Both of us want to work out, but we can always manage to come up with some reason to not go. So we help each other get our butts over there.

The little gym I was a member of got bought out by a chain called L.A. Fitness. They finished building their new facility in June and I must say color me impressed. I have been a member of alot of gyms and gone to quite a few 24 Hour Fitness locations and I haven't seen a gym yet that compares to this one for variety of machines, free-weights and abundance of cardio machines (treadmills, eliptical trainers, stair steppers, recumbant bikes, etc).

I have been a fair-weather friend of the gym for about 4 years now and haven't really been at all since I had my ulnar nerve transposition surgery in April 2005. So I decided to go extremely light in order to prevent the dreaded lactic acid buildup and resultant pain. Unfortunately, I wasn't too successful in that endeavor.

I was fine until we worked our biceps and triceps. Since my surgery was on my elbow and involved the disconnection of my bicep and reattachment after the nerve we moved beneath it, I expected that biceps would be difficult. I also was more cautious to exercise with good form. I guess I did too good of a job, because my biceps hurt!

Needless to say, I am excited to be back in the gym. Like my wife keeps telling me, you cannot complain about things you don't like if you aren't willing to do anything to try and change it. Well, I've been complaining about my ever-expanding waistline and how much I miss my much leaner frame of a few years ago. Now I hope I can rebuild the habit.

Avast ye mateys, thar be cliffhangers ahead!

2006-07-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

Well Nancy and I went to the movies Saturday and took a thrilling ride into the world envisioned by those powerhouses of Walt Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer. Once again we followed the adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow and his prescious ship The Black Pearl.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest picks up shortly after the completion of the first movie. Once again Captain Jack has managed to get himself into alot of trouble and sucks all those around him into the depth with him.

I must warn you that this movie has more double crosses than a case of Dos Equis. Granted this isn't a "thinking movie". It is definitely a Jerry Bruckheimer film. If you liked the first movie you'll definitely enjoy this one.

I don't want to give anything away since I feel not knowing anything helps heighten the enjoyment of this flick.

Keep an eye out for the subtle and not-so-subtle nods to the Disney attraction that inspired this successful movie franchise.

As my title suggests, this movie ends with a cliffhanger. Much like the Lord of the Rings movies, this movie is intended to be told over more than one film. So there is obviously going to be ongoing adventures of this merry band of pirates and I cannot wait till next summer to find out how things end up.

The soundtrack is also excellent. I bought the first soundtrack and it quickly became part of my morning routine. It's lively beats and thundering tones always got me ready to take on the day. I bought the new soundtrack today and Nancy has already stated that is definitely different but along the same lines as the first one. I'm sure I'll be expanding my morning repetoir of music to amp up the brain.

So if you decide to go see this movie, sit back and enjoy the ride. But make sure you keep an eye and firm grip on your rum :) And never forget that "Dead men tell no tales"

I hate fireworks

2006-07-05T17:26:00.000-05:00

For those of us who live in the United States or are expatriated US Citizens, yesterday was Independence Day, informally known as the Fourth of July because, well, it falls on the 4th day of July.

I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling last night and into the early morning thinking about this blog post. Why couldn't I sleep? Glad you asked. It was due to the pyrotechnic experts known as my neighbors. Where I live in Houston it is legal to buy and shoot off fireworks. People spend hundreds of dollars on various types of explosive devices that seem to operate as efficiently and accurately as a Korean missile launch.

I don't know what's wrong with me because I love the fireworks at Disney World but I guess it may have had to do with the really organized nature of it and the fact that I can avoid the hassle of it if I avoided the prime viewing locations within the park.

But outside the Wonderful World of Disney, people are very Machiavellian when it comes to their fireworks enjoyment. There were long lines of cars just pulled over on the highway making it impossible for a car to pull off the highway in the case of an emergency. Why? Because they wanted a prime viewing location for the downtown fireworks celebration, yet didn't want to park and walk somewhere and they wanted the convenient location to the highway for when the fireworks show was over.

When it comes to those who create their own fireworks extravaganza, they don't seem to care if those around them could care less about an explosive light show. I even would bet they don't consider Independence Day as anything more than a day to drink beer, fire up the BBQ and enjoy burgers by the pool, topped off with lighting explosive devices.

I wouldn't be as irritated if the festivities concluded at a decent hour, but they shoot them off until 1-2AM and it isn't just that one night. This will be a night event for the rest of the week.

Then, when you complain, you are basically told that your opinion doesn't matter because it's the freakin 4th of July and it's their right to shoot them off.

I don't know when I started to hate fireworks. I cannot pinpoint a date where I went from ooh and ah to "shut the hell up". It must've been about the same time I started to hate snow. That point and time when you realize the fun doesn't outweigh the inconvenience.

I often wonder what veterans of our wars think of such amateur shows. As I was laying there it sounded like an air strike was going off over my head. Has their ever been a vet you was awoken by the sound of the revelry and hit the floor and went reaching for their rifle.

I'll be jumping for joy when they finally outlaw fireworks

The eyes have it

2006-07-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

I saw the craziest thing today. My wife and I were sitting on the couch discussing topics for her nursing exam on Monday and she turns to me and says, "Ray, look...Coco's asleep." Coco is one of our two Chihuahuas (otherwise known as the fur-kids). I told her that she couldn't be asleep because her eyes were wide open.

She insisted she was asleep because her body was twitching like she does when she's asleep. I got down and put my face in front of hers and she didn't move. I knew at this point she had to be asleep because Coco hates to have someone look her in the eyes and will turn her head away if you put your face into hers.

That's when I saw the cool yet wierdness. Her eyes were twitching like crazy. First they rapidly moved left and right. Then they'd roll back or roll to the side. The whole time her eyes were going crazy her body was twitching like she was wanting to run somewhere.

I guess what I was seeing was REM not the band, but Rapid Eye Movement. I just never knew anyone besides Beetle Bailey had figured out how to sleep with their eyes open

Dogs And Cats

2006-06-22T22:40:00.000-05:00

I tend to have these spells where I think about life, the universe and everything and I do most of this thinking the same place I think most red-blooded males do their thinking......in the restroom. Afterall, it's pretty much the only place within one's home that a married man has peace and quiet to do that serious thinking that he needs to do. Yes, we have tinkering in the garage, swinging iron on the links, or mowing the lawn but those all involve leaving the conforts of the home.

Well, as I said I've been doing some thinking and observing as of late and I suddenly noticed something about dogs and cats I don't think I ever noticed before.

As I said, I have been doing doing alot of this thinking in the restroom and that usually involves closing the door so as to not disturb those around you. Well, there has been a few times where I haven't shut the door all the way. Sure enough within seconds of shutting the door, the dog is pushing his head through the crack and looking around. As soon as she spots me you can almost see the look on her face saying, "Oh, there you are. All is right in the world". The thing that always makes me laugh is that I literally just walked into the bathroom and she comes looking for me. It reminds me of when I'm at my brother's house and his children want to always know where I am. I also have noticed that my brother's kids are always wanting to play and especially with their uncle. It's always, "Uncle Ray, will you play with me?". Well, I've noticed the dog is also like this. It's always, "Will you pet me?", "Will you throw the ball?", "Will you run in the backyard with me?".

It's these traits I love about our dogs and other dogs my friends take care of.

Now onto cats. I only know a few people with cats, but the personality traits seem to be the same. They could care less if you were there. You could be gone a week and when you announce your presence back at home, they just look at you with a look that says, "You were gone? I didn't notice." If you start playing with them and they get irritated, I can almost see them as little Joe Pesci's from Wiseguys,
"But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?". Then they proceed to beat the crap out of you.

Rollerbat 2006 Revisited.....A Brother's Response

2006-06-17T19:37:00.000-05:00

In reference to the blog Rollerbat 2006, my brother had the following commentary that he initially provided as a comment on the article in question. I thought it was an excellent retort and deserved a place in the front where it can get the attention it deserves:

There are several matters that you have glossed over in your rather lean and anti-septic description of "Rollerbat"
Its Roll - a - bat. "Rollerbat" as you have it listed seems to imply there would be some kinda roller skates involved. And possibly batting or in the very least something bat and/or guano related. While thats a cool sounding game(perhaps played by bulky Germanic wimmin with clubs) i feel compelled to give you a B+ on memory retention. It neglects the robust history of the name of the game. Roll at a bat. Roll-a-bat.
The reason that when we were younger fights erupted was because the rules were looser when we were kids. Hitting a fly ball that clips the tops of the trees, careens of two buildings and get caught by someone is frustrating. As children the rules seem to perfectly accept running down the field with the bat, and beating the crap out of the catcher. Everything dies down and the game continued on. Which only enhanced play. The catcher is thinking....you know i'm going to run across the yard jump the steps, and hurdle the hedges to get that buttheads next pop fly. As a game it promotes athletics, tumbling, good cardio vascular health, and coping skills, as well as its own unique talents and skill parameters. ( hitting a ball that you plan to bounce off two houses, and drop behind the dog pool on the wet side...is not easy and requires highly tuned motor skills and a fair amount of the right stuff) The game on the other hand is not endorsed by the National Coalition of Parents In Support of Peacful Backyard Games Foundation L.L.C. So care should be exercised before launching yourself into a strict regime to make the Multi-National-Roll-a-Bat All-Star Olympic Try Outs in November. It'll be on E.S.P.N. 8 "The ocho" the whole month.
The game is flexible and has a multitude of applications limited only by the inventors mind. Example A: I throw a cold beer into the air. The Swedish Bikini and Oil Wrestling Diva squad tries to catch it. Oh the dilemna ! Will Svenka catch the hurtling beverage!? *gasp* Drama ! Intrigue ! Action Romance ! Stay tuned for the next episode of Beerman all you beerfans. Same beertime....same beer channel. ! See and that is just off the top of my head. You could play Volley-bat. Soccer-bat. Xtreme Snoboardin-a-bat. Look for that in the X games. Also on "the Ocho".
This is too long and with my screen up to its highest resolution, i get this itty bitty box to type in. I feel like I'm trying to label the Constitution on the side of an asprin bottle with a No. 2 Pencil.
Typos and grammar mistakes free of charge. I look at my hands when i type not the screen and with the text window at that size, there is no way I'll go back and edit.

The great purge of '06

2006-06-03T17:25:00.000-05:00

So Nancy and I decided to put our house on the market. Well, in order to put the best foot forward with those people who are walking through our home we decided we needed to "declutter". Declutter is a 4-letter word for homeowners. George Carlin said it best:

So when you get right down it it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff...while you go out and get...more stuff. 'Cause that's what this country is all about. Tryin' to get more stuff. Stuff you don't want, stuff you don't need, stuff that's poorly made, stuff that's overpriced. Even stuff you can't afford! Gotta keep on gettin' more stuff. Otherwise someone else might wind up with more stuff. Can't let that happen. Gotta have the most stuff.

So you keep getting' more and more stuff, and puttin' it in different places. In the closets, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house: baseball cards, comic books, photographs, souvenirs. Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago.

So now you have a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! And that means you gotta move all your stuff. Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Storage! Image that. There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuff.

I am by far the worst pack rat on the planet. Correction, I'm the second worst pack rat on the planet. My dad is the worst. He inherited the designation from his father when he passed away.

I digress.....

Nancy and I spent 4 days working on our "decluttering". Of those 4 days, most of one day was spent cleaning up the flower beds with some new mulch and weeding. The other 3 days was spent "decluttering" my office. Nancy took care of the rest of the house. I had stuff everywhere. There was stuff crammed into the file cabinet, I had stuff in boxes in the closet. Most of my stuff was paper related stuff. We ended up filling seven 13-gallon garbage bags with confetti from the shredder before giving up and we weren't even half way through the stack of paper that needed to be shredded. I was shredding bank statements going back 13 years.

There were a few bits of history uncovered. I found a "letter of intent" from a job I was offered 10 years ago. I have come a long way in 10 years. To think I thought 15,000/year was a lot of money back then. When I got that letter I thought I was going to be rich.

Boy did I throw alot of stuff away. I was pretty proud of myself. I felt like I was on an episode of Clean Sweep.

Needless to say, my office is unrecognizable. It's actually useable.

After the 4 days were done, our house looks awesome. I hope that we can keep it up

DenisM79's Old Sketch

2006-05-30T09:32:00.000-05:00

Here is another wonderful example of my brother's skills with coloring illustrations. The original line work was done by a person who goes by the screen name: DenisM79. The original artwork my brother worked from can be found here.

Clicking on the picture will provide a larger version

Joke: Who said you need brains to be the boss

2006-05-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

My sister-in-law sent this to me:

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control all of the body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don’t need a brain to be a Boss......any asshole will do.

A Dog's Life

2006-05-22T20:45:00.000-05:00

Do dogs know something about life that we do not?

Mother's Day 2006

2006-05-14T22:53:00.000-05:00

Well, it was an excellent Mother's Day. I called my mom and wished her a happy Mother's Day and we got on with our day.

We went over to my my brother's in-law's house and ate burgers and Brautwursts. Then we sat around and vegged as we let the large quantities of meat we just ate process in our gullets.

I always like going to to my brother's inlaw's place. They just open up their home and make you feel like you are a member of their family. In fact, during the Hurricane Rita evacuation of 2005, they let my parents stay in their house (Rita is a blog entry of it's own).

I first had a sampling of my brother's brats when I was up in OKC last September. Ever since then, I've been craving those brats ever since. I got to have my fill today. Unfortunately, noone in my house likes them except me so I have bid my time until I get to try them again.

Nothing bizzare happened today. So my blog entry will remain rather bland this time

Rollerbat 2006

2006-05-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

I am currently visiting my brother and his family in Oklahoma City. We just got finished playing a game that brought back fond memories of my childhoold. It's a game called Rollerbat. It has some pretty simple instructions.

You have a batter. He/She is responsible for hitting the ball whatever way they can. We were using a mini-basketball, but when we were kids it was played using a wiffle ball and bat. The ball is hit, you have 3 chances (strikes) to hit the ball before you are out. If you hit the ball and it is caught in the air without a bounce or richochet, the the batter is out and the one catching it is now the new batter. If the ball is caught otherwise, you have to stay where you caught the ball and roll it toward the bat, which has been laid down flat and facing toward the person doing the rolling. It is laid in such a way that the greatest amount of surface space is perpendicular to the direction of the ball.

If the ball is caught close to the bat (an arbitrary distance determined before the game), then then the bat is held upright so as to provide the least amount of surface space possible.

If the one doing the rolling is successful in hitting the bat with the ball, then they are the new batter.

Now the process by which the ball is caught reminds me alot of rugby. It's pretty much everyone for themselves. Alot of bumps and bruises were had this day.

It was very odd to play a game, as an adult, that used to cause my brother and I to beat each other with wiffle ball bats when we were younger.

Nancy's Good Karma Day

2006-05-11T22:27:00.000-05:00

Nancy was leaving the parking garage walking to the train stop so she could take the train to her last final exam for the Spring Semester. As she was standing at the crosswalk she noticed a little old lady next to who was wearing those plastic "glasses" they give you at the eye doctor. Nancy asked the lady if she just had her eyes examined. The lady responded by telling Nancy that she just had her eyes dilated and she was afraid of tripping over the rail track and if Nancy might help her navigate across the street.

Nancy, of course, obliged the lady and helped her across the street. The lady thank her profusely and hoped that she was going in that direction. Nancy told her that she was really heading toward the train stop but it was her pleasure to help her across the street. The lady proceeded to bless her for her kindness and Nancy went on to school to take her last final exam.

This final happened to be one in which she had only a couple hours to study for. Later that day she found out that she was a few percent points shy of what she needed to get an 'A' in the class, but she scored really high anyway. To score a high 'B' on a test you didn't study for is pretty amazing.

Nancy just said it was the Good Karma she got for helping the lady to cross the street. Honestly, how often do you hear of someone helping a lady to cross the street these day.

Boy do I love my wife.

The Luckless Bastard

2006-05-10T22:54:00.000-05:00

My brother and I were having one of our usual length conversations on the phone about life, the universe and everything.

He had his usual hour long talk with my wife and then she handed the phone back to me.

He wanted to let me know that I was a luckless bastard. I got such a good woman for a wife that I couldn't have found her with the aid of a fistfull of 4-leaf clovers.

BTW, according to my wife, he feels the same way for himself

Cromm-Anvilringer

2006-05-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

I have a very talented brother when it comes to the ways of the ink and pen. I have provided to the right one of his favorite pieces. He drew and colored this piece.

I will try to showcase other pieces of his. You can click the image to see a larger version

Cromm-Anvilringer

Writer's Block

2006-05-09T11:14:00.000-05:00

I'm having a run in with writer's block. I somewhat attempt to do autobiographical stories with a humourous slant. I want to always make sure the details are accurate and that my recollections are clear. At this time I have a few ideas of additional posts, but I just need to figure out the best way to put it down on "paper"

P.S. Kuri, thanks for the add to your list of 'Blogs of Interest'

My Life

2006-05-05T16:22:00.000-05:00

[Author's Note: This is an attempt by me to write poetry. Take it for what you may.]

Muscles stretched
Tensed, poised feet in the block ready for the gun
BANG!
Feet launching out of the blocks
Feet meet track, track meet feet
Legs pumping like a two cylinder engine
Breaths short and fast
Finish line
Must get there first
Failure is not an option
Not in my dictionary
I don't know how to fail
No one in front on me
Must beat all my previous times
Must beat all the records
Finish Line.......
Race Over
Another 'W' in the Win Column
But I'm never done
No time to rest
Another race
Another race I have to win
Another race to show that I'm the best
Perfection must be maintained

Muscles stretched
Tensed, poised feet in the blocks ready for the gun
BANG!.................

[Editor's Note] ToadGames Banners

2006-05-03T23:20:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed that I have a couple ToadGames banners on my blog now. I am not getting paid to have these on my blog. These are not banner ads in the sense of other websites. They are just simply .gif images with a hyperlink to the site.

The individual who develops the games and runs the site is a friend of the family. He is running this site with his own time and mostly financed out of his own pocket.

The website had a very active forum and and the games are fun and some are a bit addicting.

If any of you are looking for a source of truly free online games (unlike MSN Game Zone which requires you to pay to get the better version of the game), then check it out. I have indulged many an hour on his site.

Post Script to "Dad Does the Office Gift Exchange"

2006-05-03T10:43:00.000-05:00

Well, my mom couldn't resist the idea of the look on the poor lady's face who got the pumpkin as her gift. I'm sure the facial expression would've been classic.

So she came up with the brilliant idea to have the pumpkin wrapped up and given to my dad as one of his Christmas gift.

Mom gave Nancy the pumpkin and Nancy put it in a nicely sized box and wrapped it all nice and pretty like a Christmas gift should be.

The look on his face, when he opened the package, was classic. He was shocked and couldn't stop laughing.

Belle, our little chihuahua, even found enjoyment in it. Either that or all the wrapping paper and empty boxes.

Now everyone has to watch their back, because who knows who dad is going to gift the pumpkin to next. Our family now has our own "white elephant" except is the ugly Styrofoam pumpkin.

[Reprint] Dad Does the Office Gift Exchange

2006-05-03T10:34:00.000-05:00

Editor's Note: This piece has been reprinted with the permission of the original author, my mom (aka Grannytoad).

Dad has just started a new job. He doesn't really know any of the people or the boss. On day one he heard something about a Christmas Office Party and gift exchange but no details. He figured some kind of email would be sent to everyone with the details. He promptly forgot about it and immersed himself in the new job.

Then late one night before going to bed, Dad decides to check his email. And there is a reminder for everyone to remember to bring their gift for the gift exchange THE NEXT DAY!

I asked him what kind of exchange it was going to be... funny gift, white elephant, gag, nice gift??? What about price range??? He has NO CLUE! Since every other holiday gift exchange we have been involved with has been white elephant we figure the odds are in his favor that this exchange will be the same.

Since both of us were in our jammies ready to go to bed.. neither of us wants to head out into the cold to go to a 24 hour store. I was walking by a closet and opened the door and there was a BIG well used fake plaster pumpkin with a light in it. At the same time Dad was walking down the hall and he set off the motion activated "wall Santa" that puts out a loud mechanical HO HO HO and then proceeds to sing a mechanical Jingle Bells. I said... well.. you could have the "wall Santa" (he never was fond of the darn thing) or the pumpkin. He takes a look at the pumpkin and pronounces it perfect!

I set about packaging up the well used pumpkin into an attractive looking gift complete with a sparkling snowflake type ribbon with silver garland with stars on it. I suggested that he might ask what kind of exchange was being held.. when he got to work in the morning. If it was not to be a white elephant exchange he could always leave the gift in the car and since he had just started working there.. claim he didn't know about the exchange and just not participate. "Good idea!", he says.

The next morning at the crack of dawn as Dad heads out the door for his 1 ½ hour trek to work through bumper to bumper Houston traffic, I suggest he grab an old towel from the garage to throw over the package. Should he decide to leave the "gift" in the car we really didn't need to have someone breaking out a window in the truck to steal the "ratty pumpkin"!

After Dad left for work, I promptly forgot about the whole party and gift exchange and went about my day.

A little after 5 PM Dad called to say he was just about to head home through the always brutal traffic. At that point I remembered the gift exchange and asked how it went.

Turns out Dad dove into his new job as soon as he hit the office and forgot to ask anyone about the rules for the gift exchange. The next thing he knew it was time for everyone to leave for the restaurant!

Throwing all caution to the wind... he took the "gift" into the restaurant.. after all the odds were in his favor that it would be a white elephant exchange... right???

For anyone who does not know how these exchanges work... The first person picks a gift from the stack. They open it and can either keep it, exchange it by taking a gift from someone else or pick a new gift. The first person to pick.. gets to have a chance to swap gifts after the last person has gotten a gift since the first person didn't have anyone to exchange with.

The gift exchange begins! The first person opens a very nice gift and chooses to keep it. Even in white elephant exchanges, there is always someone who brings a nice gift.. so Dad isn't worried.... YET! It soon becomes apparent after several people have chosen and exchanged gifts that this exchange was not meant to be white elephants! By now he has heard the rules as people exclaimed.. "WOW great gift.. how did you find THAT for only $15??!"

Needless to say Dad is mortified. Being Mr. Calm he never lets on his discomfort and figures he can grab the pumpkin himself.... No such luck.

Soon after the exchange started... Nice Lady (I don't know any of these people so that title will have to do) picks the package I had wrapped up so festively. Still sitting quietly, Dad wishes he could be beamed to another planet before Nice Lady opens the gift!

Nice Lady proceeds to open the gift and sits there absolutely stunned! Dad hears the boss whisper to someone... "Looks like a piece of crap from someone's attic!" Dad knows everyone is wondering, "WHO is the cheap SOB who brought that ratty old piece of junk.. and a pumpkin no less!"

Nice Lady is still sitting there in total silence staring at her "gift".. probably in a state of shock. People wait for her to get another gift or exchange it... but she just sits there with it. She was probably thinking... "How do I ever foist this thing off on one of my co workers when I have to face them every day??" Or maybe she was just numb... she didn't make a move to exchange the gift or get a new one so the exchange continued. Poor Nice Lady.. everyone after her would either go over to check out the pumpkin on her lap or look in her direction as if actually thinking about exchanging their wonderful gift for her "ratty pumpkin"! For Dad the total gift exchange took an eternity!

When everyone went in to eat.. Dad was fortunate that he didn't have to sit next to Nice Lady!

Two eternities later, the gala Christmas Luncheon was over (no one knowing who had brought the ratty pumpkin) and people headed for their cars. Dad caught up with Nice Lady and asked if she would be willing to exchange the pumpkin for the $15 gift card he had gotten. She looked at him with amazement or was it shock... and said nothing. She was probably wondering if he was just one more idiot making fun of her gift! To break the silence Dad asked again if she would be willing to exchange gifts with him. "You are serious aren't you?" she said.... not really believing him! Dad assured her he was serious. "Why would you want THIS?" she asked totally dumbfounded! "I want the pumpkin for my wife", Dad replies. "Ummmm you want to give THIS to your wife?", she can't believe her ears. "Oh yes," says Dad... "My wife collects pumpkins she will love it!" "Won't your wife be a bit surprised when you come home from the gift exchange with THIS?!!", stammers Nice Lady... "Oh, she will be surprised", says Dad smiling kindly.

Nice Lady can't believe her good luck.. she hands over the pumpkin and takes the gift card from Dad and hurries for the door before he can change his mind. When at the door.. she stops for a minute and turns around and thanks Dad, once again, for the exchange. She must have been sooo relieved that she didn't have to go home and face her family with the ratty pumpkin she had gotten in exchange for whatever nice gift she had taken. Nice Lady must also wonder what kind of other gifts Dad has given his wife if he thinks she will be thrilled with that ratty old pumpkin!

I have laughed myself silly every time I think about the whole event. Every time I go out on the porch for a smoke I end up laughing hysterically.. good thing it is cold out (and everyone is hunkered down in their houses) and none of the neighbors can see (or hear) me! I just hope no one from Dad's new job reads this forum or the first paycheck he gets may be his last...LOL

Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth

2006-05-02T20:49:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before I like to play rugby. Between 1986 and 1989, I lived in the Republic of Singapore. My dad, like myself, was in the computer game. He was working for Data General then (I believe they were merged with EMC in the late 90's). In order to stay compliant and to allow me to easily attend college in the United States I had to attend a United States sanctioned school while in Singapore. That school was The Singapore American School. As one probably guessed, it was a private school....uniforms and all. Luckily for us, my dad's company footed the bill for the tuition, books and uniforms (they pretty much covered anything that we didn't have to pay for in the US).

Instead of the usual sports that are offered in high schools in the United states, this school had "international" sports. I cannot remember the seasons that all the sports played in but we had: Soccer, Rugby, Basketball (international rules), volleyball (men's and women's), Field Hockey, Softball (men's and women's), and Track and Field. If you wanted to play American Rules Football and Baseball you had to join a club team.

I had played Jr. Varsity Basketball my freshman year and was trying out for varsity during my sophomore year. Unfortunately, I didn't make the team. But Coach Bava, the rugby coach and my PE teacher asked me to come out for Rugby. Apparently, if you made it till the end of the season, you got a letter. It was a self-cut team. So I got my parents' permission. This was a shock to me.

You need to understand that ever since pee wee league days, I've tried to get permission to play football, but my parents felt I'd get hurt. Now I'm asking to play rugby which is alot like football but without pads and they say yes. Apparently, my mom had a theory that football coaches were egomaniacs that cared more about winning than the welfare of his players. They knew Coach Bava's reputation and that I loved him as a coach and that is all they needed to know.

So I tried out. For years Coach Bava started out the season by addressing the squad and asking anyone if they would care to try and tackle him. Naturally an offensive or defensive tackle from one of our club league football teams would volunteer. They would come in and try to tackle him like a football player would and he would make a little move and stiff arm the guy and break his nose. He would use this as an object lesson on how in Rugby one tackles with the shoulder keeping the head away from the one being tackled.

Well, you may be wondering what is the purpose of all this rambling. I was recollecting one of the games I played way back then. I was playing hooker and during line outs the hookers face off against each other while the ball is tossed between a line of players

      X|
------ |
       |O
------ |
      X|

The 'X' represent the hookers and the 'O' represents the guy tossing the ball between the -'s. Well, in this situation, the ball was tossed and both their hooker and me dove into the channel trying to intercept the ball. Instead of trying to intercept the ball, the opposing hooker speared me in the head. Right on the temple. I remember passing out for a brief second and then was back into the game.

A few plays later Coach Bava was pulling me out of the game. I asked him why he was pulling me out. He said that he saw the blow to my head during the line out and then I wasn't playing normally after that. He said I was playing too good like I had lost all my fear.

Well, later that night I was sitting at home with my brother while my parents went to Denny's to grab some dessert. I turned to look at my brother and wasn't able to speak. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't get the words out. My brother ended up calling my parents at Denny's. Yes, we ate there enough that we knew the phone number and they knew who we were.

It turned out that I had a severe concussion and it had done some temporary damage to the area of my brain that affects speech. The plus side was that it got me out of an oral presentation I had to do for English class. The bad side is that I now stutter everytime I get nervous or excited.

But my mom was right. Coach Bava pulled me out of the game because I was playing too good. What coach would do that? A coach that knew his player normally was fearful of being tackled and now wasn't and it all started from a head injury.

Man I love this game!!!!

Joke: The Priest Who Could Not Lie

2006-05-02T08:30:00.000-05:00

A distinguished looking young lady was on a flight returning from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a priest, and asked, "Excuse me Father, may I ask a favor of you?"

"Well, of course Miss. What can I do for you?" he replied.

"Here's my dilemma: I purchased for myself a very sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it, but I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs. I affraid they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps hide it through Customs for me under your robes?"

"I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you, I am not ever able to lie."

"You have such an honest face, Father, surely they will never ask any questions of you." And with that, she handed him the hair remover.

After landing, they proceeded through Customs, and it became the Father's turn in line. "Father, do you have anything to declare?" asked the Custom's officer.

"From the top of my head to my waist, I have nothing to declare, my son."

Finding this answer a little strange, the custom's officer proceeded to ask, "And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?"

The Father replied, "I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used."

Roaring with laughter, the Custom's officer said, "Go right through Father . . . Next!"

The gas crisis of 2006?

2006-05-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

Well, Nancy and I just got back from what we thought would be a quick trip to Wal-Mart for some bread and a box of drumsticks (ice cream treat) and some gas.

We knew the price was going to be steep because the marquee was stating the price was $2.97 /g and that was for the cheap stuff. We put more money on our Wal-Mart stored value card so we could get the extra 3 cents off of the gas

Well, we attempt to pull into the station and have to battle a bunch of crazies to get a spot. We noticed the usual gas tanker there filling up the station. I slide my Wal-Mart pre-paid card in the slot, choose my grade (the middle grade) and attempt to start pumping. But the gas was coming out in a trickle. Then I hear a voice from above. I now have proof that god is a female and she knew that I was trying to pump 95 octane gas. Well, apparantly, this gas station was completely out of all gas other than the most expensive (naturally)! So we had to put the pump back in the cradle, get our receipt for $0.97 and then start pumping again at the higher price. So I had to pay $.08/gallon more than I cared to.

Then to top it off, the tanker truck had one entrance blocked off and we had to try and back out of the gas station to get to the other entrance/exit, but everyone else was trying to leave as well. Plus, these people aren't driving like one would expect them to drive in tight quarters. Instead, they are all gas and brake.

I haven't seen chaos at a gas station since the Rita evacuation of 2005.

The Gentlemen of Aspen

2006-05-01T19:35:00.000-05:00

Between 1997 and 1999 I lived in a beautiful little town in Colorado that I don't think many people know about. It is called Aspen, Colorado. I've never seen a place so pretty. I have had quite a few adventures there that could take up a blog posting or two.

Aspen has the luxury of having one of the premier Rugby Football Clubs in the entire United States. They have won more titles than any other Club League team. One of the wonderful thing about Rugby is that they'll take almost anyone that wants to try out.

I happened to bump into one of the players in the gym and we started talking about rugby since I played in high school and in college. He asked me to turn up at practice on Thursdays.

I think he was surprised when I showed up.

Rugby is a rough and tumble sport. There is a saying amongst those familiar with real football (soccer to us Americans) and Ruggers. "Football is a gentleman's sport played by hooligans and Rugby is a hooligan's sport played by Gentleman". In fact, the name of the Rugby Team in Aspen is "The Gentleman of Aspen".

Well, on Saturday afternoon we traveled to Vail, Colorado to play the Vail Rugby Club. I had the wonderful opportunity of playing "A" squad since many of the other regular "A" squad was off playing for the American Eagles (the professional team for American Rugby). I typically play one of two positions, hooker or winger. On this particular day, I was tapped to play hooker which was especially challenging since I am 5'3" and my two props were over 6' tall. Once we were locked together and they stood up, my feet were at least a foot off the ground.

During some especially brutal scrums, I got pulled and flipped over the pack and kicked repeatedly in the ribs and kidneys. Fun was had by all.

Our team was easily handling the Vail squad and at half period, we decided to switch me to the winger position.

By this point, I have pretty much earned a lot of respect of the members of the team because I always give my all during practices. Since I was playing winger, I was in a good position to score if the opportunity arises. People on the sidelines were offering rounds of drinks to anyone who passed me the ball and it resulted in a try (the equivalent of a touchdown in American Football).

Needless to say, after many attempts I still hadn't been able to get across the try line. Then, I got what most players dread.....the "hospital pass". It is called the "hospital pass" because the catching of the ball results in a collision so bad it puts you in the hospital. In my case, all 128 lbs. of me collided into 3 very tall and very heavy guys. I'd say they easily weighed over 700 lbs combined. I went flying like a rag doll and had all that weight on me. I got up, brushed myself off and continued to play. My hand was killing me but on the plus side, my kidneys and ribs didn't hurt anymore.

After the game, we went out drinking, which is a custom with Rugby. I found that icing my hand down with cold beer helped a lot. At the bar two sisters of the players came up to me and told me how tough I was. They thought I was a goner after getting that hospital pass. They told me from their perspective all they saw was my arms and legs flailing around like a cockroach and then the next thing they knew I was running around on the field like nothing had happened.

Well, I went to see a physician that specializes in sports medicine. It turned out that I had an avulsion fracture of the right thumb. It's often referred to as Skier's Thumb. I was casted for 6 months and it still didn't keep me from the Rugby pitch.

Stay tuned....

2006-04-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

For all those people who check in frequently to see what I've posted, I appologize for the slight gap in posting. I have alot going on right now, and I'm also having to interview friends and family to jog my memory about some of the entertaining stuff I've done in the past that would make good blogging material.

So stay tuned..... there should be some new posts this week

Life in 2006....

2006-04-27T12:47:00.000-05:00

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006......

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to hlep you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on Television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Hello, I love you can you tell me your name....

2006-04-25T22:13:00.000-05:00

I thought I would talk about how my wife and I met and got married. We met on October 11, 2001 and were married on March 8, 2002. For those who worked the math, that was about 148 days or around 5 months. We have been married slightly over 4 years now. I find it funny that we've been married longer than some of the people I know have dated.

At the time of my wife's meeting we were both active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka the Mormons or LDS). We were in what they refer to as a Singles' Ward. The Church is divided into Wards (or branches for smaller populations) and Wards/Branches belong to Stakes.

LDS Families practice on Mondays something called Family Home Evening (FHE) which involves family together time without interruptions from the world where you typically have some kind of Spiritual lesson, some scripture reading or other faith building activities. Since the singles tend to be out of the parents' house they often don't have a family to do FHE with. So the Singles' Ward had their own FHE events planned by the members. By region we were divided into "families".

On Oct 11, 2001, my "family" was in charge of the lesson. I planned on having a Q&A session where question often asked by non-LDS people could be answered by the rest of the group and people of higher authority. I managed to get some of our leadership to be present to help settle questions. Unbeknownst to everyone (until now), I had planned this FHE lesson because I had been on the fence since joining and wanted to see if I could be convinced I was wrong in my doubts.

After the event, our Ward's Bishop's wife (the lay minister leader for the ward) introduced me to Nancy. She was new in the area. She was introducing Nancy to everyone. But she caught my eye. There was something different about her.

It was later, that I found out that she was in my FHE Family and she gave me her phone number so I could call and let her know what was going on. Well, I tend to be a procrastinator and constantly forgot to call her. Nancy and I chatted a lot in the halls of the Church between sessions and she coined the nickname "slacker" for me because I kept forgetting to call.

You have to understand that my dating strategy that I have used up to this point was that I would really get to know the girl before asking her out and unfortunately it never worked. I always got the, "you are like a brother to me." speech. Well, I had Nancy's phone number in my cell phone and I thought I'd teach her a lesson and call her up and ask her out. I was going against precedent and asking out someone I hardly even knew. I called her and got her voice-mail and hung up and lost my nerve. She dared to call me back and I was forced to talk to her. We talked for a really long time and she agreed to go out to eat with me. We both loved Olive Garden so that is where we decided to go. This was November 25th. The following Tuesday we were at FHE and were going to meet some people to eat but we got lost. We ended up talking the whole night while we were driving around looking for this restaurant we swore didn't exist. That ended up being considered our first date even though it occurred before our official date.

The date came and went and really was just a night full of nervousness on both sides. To top off the dates festivities, we both had a nasty bout of IBS that had us taking turns running to the restroom. It is a good thing I had cleaned my bathroom before leaving for our date. You must understand, at this point and time, Nancy had real issues with using restrooms that were not in her house. So the fact that she used my toilet meant she really, really, really, had to go (she suffers from Crohn's Disease). It was the fact that I could relate to her delimma that we were able to laugh the situation off and form a unique bond that others couldn't relate to.

My wife had just gotten off a bad marriage. I was 30, single and never had a girlfriend before. If my status didn't throw up red flags, blaring sirens and a marching band with banners telling you "Danger, Danger, Warning Will Robinson", I don't know what would. She decided that she would go out with me again. I later found out that she was just thinking I would make a good gym buddy (at that time I did most of my worshipping within the temple of 24 Hour Fitness).

I can't remember us spending a moment apart.....Until December 2, 2001. That was the day Nancy broke up with me. It lasted less than 24 hours. She ended up getting really sick and it turned out to be bronchitis. She had to go home, but since she lived with her dad and he wasn't home, she had no one to take care of her and the only thing she could think of was calling me. I went and picked her up at her house and we watched TV while she slept on my lap.

We spent a lot of time talking in front of her dad's house illuminated by the glow of his outside lights. It was during those talks that souls were bared. We dug up more skeletons than are in all of Arlington Cemetery. I think at times it seemed like we were Rene Russo and Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 2 comparing battle scars. But I knew at that point that I trusted her because I told her things my best friends and family didn't know

It was within the first week of December that we got engaged. I didn't ask her though. She asked me, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" I replied, "I don't know, but you are there." At that point we started planning our marriage.

We got married for under $1000 including the cost of the dress. We didn't go on a honeymoon because her job wouldn't allow her to take time off. We just started into our marriage.

We never really have looked back. So far the keys to our success has been the open and honest dialogue we have. I have found that being honest with my feelings is always the proactive response rather than dealing with the fallout when you keep things to yourself.

In September, we are finally getting to take our honeymoon and it coincides with our 4.5 year anniversary. It has been a long bumpy road, but I've enjoyed the ride. Here is to 50 more years of it

Editor's Note

2006-04-25T11:11:00.000-05:00

In response to my previous blog Ray's Blog: When did I get old?, my Editor, the one who has final say in what does or does not stay in "print" on my blog (aka Nancy, my wonderful wife) wants it known that she is not old, never has been old and never will be old. That the opinion of my being old is that of the author and doesn't represent the opinions of the family as a whole.

When did I get old?

2006-04-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, after months of saying I'd do it, I went and bought a treadmill from Sears. It was a pretty nice model and had features that I'd use. The plan was that I could be walking while watching TV instead of sitting while watching TV.

We backed up the truck to the loading area at Sears and two burly men loaded it onto my truck. I suddenly realized that it is going to be an entertaining exercise to get this sucker into the house.

It just so happened that our next door neighbor and 3 of his friends were outside when we were trying to muscle the thing into the house. With their help we got it in without much effort.

I used my handy-dandy box cutter and just sliced the sucker open. Of course, some assembly required. In all honesty, based on the "destructions" it shouldn't have been that difficult. I just had to put the safety rails on and the wheel assembly. But my impressions were really wrong. I don't know how many times I had to go to the garage to get a different screwdriver that fit the head of the screw better. Not only that, if the screw wasn't lined up perfectly with the hole it just didn't want to go in. On several occasions you had to be on your back like you were changing the oil of your car.

One step required the insertion of 4 large bolts. 2 were screwed into threaded holes so no nuts were required. The other two had self locking nuts on the other side. The instructions told me to hand tighten then to tighten down with a adjustable or crescent wrench and the provided Allen wrench. I could barely get the crescent wrench into the tight space occupied by the bolt and all the other major parts of the treadmill. But I got it done with some banged up knuckles.

Then, I turned the page and I was instructed to fold the treadmill in a certain way so I could assemble the wheels. Wouldn't you know it, the "destructions" on the previous page was only referring to 2 of the 4 bolts. From this new angle, I could've easily gotten to both sides of the other bolts and could've easily tightened them down. Oh well, live and learn, but I was still frustrated

Well, needless to say, I got it put together. Of course I had to try it out. So I fired up the treadmill and put it into the easy jogging preset mode. It apparently takes me on a 30 minute trek where the speeds go between walking and jogging speeds. I was sweating like a pig. The ceiling fan above me was still set in winter mode so it wasn't blowing air down on me. But I successfully completed my first trial on the treadmill

Then came Sunday. Nancy wanted to do her workout videos. So I said I would go on the treadmill. I got her iPod synchronized with my play lists (cause mine doesn't have a case yet to protect it) and climbed aboard. I decided to do a manual mode which lets me decide how fast and what incline I exercise at. I started walking/jogging to the soundtrack from "Pirates of the Caribbean". It is a great music for working out to. By the time it had ended, Nancy's workout videos were still going, so I just switched to my work play list which is composed of a lot of dance and disco songs. Needless to say, when her videos were done, I had been on that thing for over and hour!

The new torture device
Originally uploaded by rharkness.

I could barely move and I still had the lawn to do. So I lazed about hoping to catch my second win, but alas, it didn't happen.

I live in Texas and it is hot in April (heck it was hot in March). I went out to the yard armed with my sweatband, 5 bottles of Gatorade, my "outside" baseball cap, and plenty of sun block to protect my fair skin (I glow in the dark). Oh, it was miserable. I have to say this has got to be one of the best years for my grass. It is thick like a carpet. Good for my lawn, bad for me. Even with the impressive "cruise control" feature of my Honda lawn mower, it still took a lot of energy for me to mow that green carpet. I also had to edge, and weed eat the lawn. Nancy had to bring me a bigger bottle of Gatorade because I drank everything I had.

Well now I'm sitting her typing this at 8:00PM barely able to get off the couch. My hips, calves and Achilles tendon are killing me. It has hit me, I am old.....when did that happen?

Nothing left but to have fun once your undies are wet

2006-04-21T23:50:00.000-05:00

I should've known that it was going to be one of those days when I got up this morning. All of the signs were there. When I woke up I was exhausted so Nancy had offered me the opportunity to sleep in because she and several nursing school buddies were carpooling to the Houston Women's Center and I could tag along. I initially took her up on the offer but decided I needed to get into work so I got up 15 minutes later.

So now I was rushing to get back on schedule (I don't like it when my morning "ritual" gets screwed up). As I was getting ready Belle, our 7lb Chihuahua, woke up and felt it was play time. So I had to entertain her a bit and give her half her breakfast so she would go back to bed.

Now I'm running out the door and it was lightly sprinkling. At this point I was just hoping that it would hold off.

I got to the bus stop and sure enough METRO had all the schedules screwed up. The line of people just didn't know where to go because they kept moving busses around. You just saw all of us moving in mass from one bus to be told we need to get on another.

Just as we pull into Downtown, the sky opened up. It was pouring. Fortunately, Houston has an intricate system of tunnels under the city. The problem is getting there without getting wet. So I decided to jump out where I knew a tunnel entrance was near the bus stop. If I didn't and tried to go topside, it was seven blocks of walking in sideways rain with zero chance of shelter. So I pulled the umbrella I had stashed in my backpack and way ready to engage it as soon as I got off the bus and make a dash for it. I jumped off the bus, hit the button and drat. The umbrella was broken. Now I know why the umbrella was in the back of the coat closet. So I ran across the street and dove into the building with the tunnel access. By now I was soaked. My hair was soaked, my glasses were fogged and coated in water, and my shoes were soggy and my pants were a little wet.

Now you have to understand, the Downtown Houston tunnel system is a series of interconnected pathways. It takes you forever to travel somewhere that topside would take you a few moments. I also only used the tunnels in the past to go between two specific locations. I had that path memorized. But to get from where I was to a location that popped up near my office building (it isn't connected to the tunnel system) was going to be a challenge.

The provide 'You are Here' maps periodically along the way but they don't orient them in a way that you can tell where to go. So here I am dripping wet trying to navigate my way to my office building and every time I thought I was there I would pop up and find that I was nowhere close. Eventually I got to the right exit. Now I had to cross two street and a parking lot in a down pour. I found my parka in my backpack, put it on and ran like crazy. By now, the streets were flooded and my shoes are soaked. I get into my office building and find I forgot my badge. It was still sitting on the bathroom counter and I forgot it because of Belle's distraction.

So, I go up to the security desk to get my "badge of shame" and then find out that I cannot continue to my office because there was nobody there to verify I work there. Now you have to understand, I work in a highly secure building. I have to use my badge to get through 4 checkpoint to get to my office. But my name was in the computer system and I produced ID.

Oh well, I am usually the first person to come to work and I had no idea when the next employee was going to show up. So I fired up my laptop and started working. Wet clothes and all.

Finally someone showed up and I got to my office, kicked off the shoes and sat in my chair with my wet socks, pants, shirt and underwear.

One of my co-workers came in later and I related my story to him. I ended it with telling him a little saying I used to spout when it would rain at college football games......

"There is Nothing left but to have fun once your undies are wet"

The Easter Snake

2006-04-20T08:29:00.000-05:00

My wife likes to have little traditions and one of those is having family over on the holidays. So, typically, we have my parents over since they live about 5 minutes away from us. For this Easter meal, Nancy let my mom decide on the meal. My mom very enthusiastically requested hamburgers off the grill. I guess she liked them the last time I made them. Who were we to argue with the request. It was an easy meal to prepare, very little cleanup, and I had to do the cooking :)

Well, Nancy decided that we needed corn on the cob and cake to round out the meal. She crafted a cake in the shape of a bunny using two round cake layers. I hope to update this blog entry with a picture once I get it off the camera.

IMG_0629
Originally uploaded by rharkness.

So everything was going smoothly. My dad sat outside and shot the breeze with me as I cooked the burgers and the corn. If you haven't enjoyed corn on the cob off the grill, try it. It is absolutely fabulous. While I was cooking and Nancy was finishing things up inside, my mom went out front to take a quick smoke (we don't allow her to smoke inside).

So, fast forward to us sitting at the table eating.....

There we were eating our meal, when my mom mentions, "Oh, by the way, you have a huge rattlesnake in the bushes out front." I respond with, "How do you know it's a rattlesnake? Did you hear it's rattle?" She answers with, "No, I saw the diamond pattern" and she proceeded to stretch out her arms to indicate that the snake must've been about 5 feet long with a diameter equivalent of a 2 inch pipe. Surely, she must be exaggerating.

My dad was saying that if it wasn't for the multitude of kids and animals in the neighborhood, you would just let it go on it's way, but since we don't have that luxury we have no choice but to kill it. He told me to just take the hedge clippers and cut it in half. I'm thinking to myself, "Where is Jeff Corwin or Steve Irwin when you need them? Because I don't have hedge clippers and I don't know how reliable my aim is with swinging a shovel." If this thing is really as big as my mom is saying it is, I'll never get close enough with any kind of death blow instrument before it takes me out below the knees.

Despite the fact that I hold the mantle of "Killer of all things Creepy" in my household, just like Indiana Jones, I HATE SNAKES! I had a couple close calls in my childhood involving snakes. One such incident involved me, the side of a giant rock, a coiled copperhead and 6 inches between our faces in the North Carolina woods. If it wasn't for the fact that I let go of the rock and fell to the ground, that sucker would've gotten me for sure.

But, I digress. So here I am, eating my meal, followed up by dessert just praying this snake will go on it's merry little way.

Well, after dinner, dad wanted to see this giant snake. Nancy requested that I put something on my feet, so I just slid on my sneakers while my dad just went out with his socks on. We were two fearless hunters tracking down the giant snake. Well, my mom was out there smoking and said, "It's still there." I asked her to point it out, and I looked where she was pointing. So I go around the bushes where I had the closest vantage point and my dad was with me. I point to an object the bushes and asked her, "Is this the snake?" I got an answer in the affirmative. I knew what I was looking at, but I wanted to make sure that I wasn't wrong and looked around carefully and then proceeded to reach out and grab it and asked my mom, "This?" She said yes.

It was a giant metal stake. The stake was the kind landscapers use to keep trees and giant shrubs from toppling over. This particular stake was the one put in after my crepe myrtle blew over the first week after moving into our new home. About a year ago, I pulled it out and tossed it aside. The rust pattern was perceived as a diamond pattern and there was a slight bend in it from my having to pry it out of the ground.

So, from now on, that metal stake is referred to as the "Easter Snake"

It's the little things

2006-04-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

On Tuesdays, my wife has a shorter schedule at school and she typically gets out of class before noon. So we've started having lunch together.

I didn't realize how much I started enjoying this time with her. I was able to have conversations with her while I'm still somewhat alert and not exhausted like I am at the end of the day.

It is recently that I've learned that it's the little things that make the biggest different to my spouse. Lunch during the day, buying flowers without being asked to, little notes slipped into her lunches, etc.

I may be an old dog, but apparently, I can learn new tricks

Can you truly protect the stupid from themselves: Part II?

2006-04-18T08:09:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about the previous post I had written with this title and I was starting to think to myself. In regards to the MySpace controversy, who is really the stupid person to be blamed? I remember when I was in Junior High and High School. I did all kinds of stupid things to try and be popular or maintain what position I had within the "inner circle". MySpace has added a cyber component to what I had to deal with as a youth. Granted, I was still acting stupid, but I had adults (like my parents) telling me I was being stupid. In the case of MySpace, who is really telling these kids what they are doing could have long standing harm? You don't want to be 40, running for office and someone publishes pictures that used to be on your MySpace account of you sucking on a beer bong or smoking a big ole "fatty". Nothing is permanently gone when it's on the internet. Companies make a fortune extracting bits of data that the user thought they had "deleted". As far as I know, most of the warnings are coming from school administrators and advisors. It might as well be an adult from Charlie Brown talking because very few kids hear a word coming out of their mouth.

I've found podcasting awhile back and listing to a bunch of technology based one:
This Week in Tech (TWiT)
What's New Now
Diggnation
The Daily Source Code
KFI Tech Guy (Leo Laporte's Radio Show)

All of these can easily be found with iTunes. They have a lot of stuff that may go over people's heads but they also talk about the things that are quickly becoming trends either good or bad. Maybe the parents who are unaware of the dangers are the ones that need more education. I work in the IT Industry and know how hard it is to stay on top of things but I think the computer and internet was viewed by many adults as being as innocuous as the Television Set. But I view it to be far more dangerous. You wouldn't just hand your kid a gun and tell them to "have at it" without some serious instruction about the safe handling of a firearm and even then you may not let them handle the firearm without supervision.

Thankgiving 2005

2006-04-17T21:45:00.000-05:00

My wife and I had my parents over for a traditional Easter dinner consisting of grilled hamburgers and a homemade cake. While I was out mastering fire on the back patio my wife was reminded of our BBQ experience over Thanksgiving last year.

Every year since we've been married, my wife and I have made an exodus to the High Desert in California to visit her mother and her husband, who interestingly enough has, the same first name as me. Unlike the stereotypical relationships with the in-laws, I like her mother. She has a lot of sage advice and has overcome much adversity to get where she is right now in her life and career.

In 2005, we decided to take a trip over Thanksgiving. It included our annual trip to Disneyland, but that isn't important to this story. Her mom wanted to know what we wanted for Thanksgiving dinner. I told Nancy that I'm not a big traditionalist when it comes to Thanksgiving and since her mom has been raving about her steaks ever since she got her gas grill, I wanted steaks.

So while her husband was creaming me at Halo 2, they were out cooking on the grill. Her mother likes to put aluminum foil down to make the cleanup easy. Before putting the foil down she did the obligatory burn off period. Afterward she put the foil down and then the steaks. Moms and Daughters being as they are proceeded to laugh and talk, laugh and talk and laugh some more. The whole time the lid of the grill was down and our steaks were cooking.....or were they

Well, her mom decided to check on the steaks and lifted the lid. The entire grill was on fire. Apparently, she had forgotten to turn the heat down from the "burn off" and it goes so hot in there that the aluminum foil melted to the steaks.

I being the every grateful house guest ate my steak with the utmost care but without a complaint. I have crowns and when aluminum hits it, I might as well have been hit by lightening. I tell you a lot of scraping went into getting my gilded steak back to just meat.

Her poor mom was mortified and she said it took forever to get the aluminum off the grill grates.

I have a wife who is an excellent cook, so now no matter how bad a meal turns out, I'm sure it wouldn't match that meal.

On a positive note, I was able to learn how to grill corn on the cob on the grill (I didn't know you could do that). We now only prepare corn that way.

Can you truly protect the stupid from themselves?

2006-04-17T21:37:00.000-05:00

My brother's wife and I were talking via IM tonight and we were talking about MySpace. Specifically about how just finds it humorous how much personal information people put on their MySpace profiles and then wonder why their identity has been stolen or they end up getting stalked. There are also people who are complaining because employers are now scouring MySpace looking to see if a potential candidate has a profile and how they are presenting themselves in said profile. After all, once hired, they are going to be representative of the company and they don't want to hire some guy who posts pictures of himself passed out drunk with wet pants and empty beer cans all around himself.

My sister-in-law had heard that there are people who want to pass legislation that protects these people from themselves. As she so aptly pointed out, legislation can never stop people from being stupid. They can only punish those who take advantage of the stupid.

It just seems like people want more and more laws to protect people from the liability of making bad decisions.

A case of mistaken identity

2006-04-14T22:03:00.000-05:00

One thing that can not be said about me is that I'm spontaneous. I have never been. I have also not been known for having a sense of humor or desire to play pranks on people. Some would call me pretty gullible in my younger years. Granted, some people at work feel I let a good joke out every now and again, but when I was younger, it was a rarity.

So let me setup the story. I guess I was around 10 or 11 years old and we were living in Durham, NC at the time. Every now and again we'd travel up to NJ to visit my Dad's father. My mom didn't particularly care for him and I think the feeling was reciprocated. So, the trip often was just my dad, my brother Mike and me.

Also, being young kids with small bladders we had to stop a lot along the way at rest stops. These handy little conveniences may be a foreign concept to many people. I know on the trip from Houston to OKC, we only saw one. But these rest stops were pretty nice until you got north of Virginia.

So here we were on our way north to NJ and we stopped to stretch our legs and take a "bio-break". I being the fast walker that I am was way ahead of the pack to get to the bathroom. I round the corner to the bathroom and had an idea pop into my head......

I'm going to jump out and scare the crap out of my dad and brother because they would never see it coming.

There was a little wall that shielded the entrance to the men's bathroom and I was hiding just behind it waiting for my dad and brother to spring my trap. I couldn't see through the wall and all I had was the shadows as my guide to tell me when to jump.

My dad and brother weren't far behind me so I didn't think I'd have to wait long. Then I saw the shadow. It was approaching fast but I didn't want to jump out too soon, but if I waited too long I'd just be some idiot hiding behind a wall.

I saw my moment of opportunity and sprung around the corning letting out a loud roar.

But.......

It wasn't my dad or my brother. It was some poor business man. All I remember is him screaming like a woman and throwing his briefcase up in the air. I don't remember much beyond the fact that my dad and brother were rolling in laughter. I, on the other hand was embarrassed.

As we were driving out of the Rest Area, my dad turned to me and said, "We will never look at a Rest Area the same and unfortunately, neither will that poor guy."

I love/hate the bus system

2006-04-12T11:12:00.000-05:00

Anyone that knows me, knows that I hate to drive in traffic. Also, anyone that knows Houston, knows that traffic and Houston go hand-in-hand. Heck, if I wanted to drive to work, I'd have to be on the road by 5AM to have traffic suitable to my taste.

So my solution since 2000 has been to ride Houston's METRO park & ride bus line. It saves my sanity but I sure find it an annoyance at the same time.

Take for example the morning commute in. If you try to catch a bus before 6:00AM, you end up having to wait in long lines because they only have one bus in the queue. It leaves and you have to wait around 15-20 minutes for the next one. If you come after 6:00AM, they have them stacked 3 deep. Just pick a bus and get on it. Now granted, you are in a line. So you could end up being their for 30 minutes or more before the bus you boarded reaches it's scheduled departure time. But it is heated in the winter time and air-conditioned in the summer. Also, you can sleep while you wait your turn to leave.

Coming home is less or a burden because the busses run pretty frequently. The hassle is getting seat. So I've devised a strategy where I find it much more comfortable for me in the long run if I walk to the first stop on the line and catch it there. Then I get the pick of seats and I just recline and relax.

But every now and again, you get a bus driver that won't stop unless you jump out in front of him and then when you chase them down they inform you that you made no clear indication that you wanted to board. My understanding from METRO is that they are to stop at all stops, unless there is noone standing there....arg

This is just going to be one of those necessary evils I'm going to have to live with until I either get over my bizarre fear of driving in traffic or I get a job closer to where I live

Traffic.....

2006-04-11T09:18:00.000-05:00

Well, every Monday and Tuesday Nancy and I commute into Downtown Houston together. I have a parking spot in the building I work at and it makes it convenient for the both of us.

To back up a bit, I acquired a parking place in the private garage at my place of employment after my wife's car got the front-end smashed in as a result of another car getting stolen. Apparently, they backed into our car during their hasty getaway. This was the 3rd (or 4th) major accident for the poor 4Runner but it keeps on ticking.

Well, back to the story....

Nancy and I get up around 5AM and hit the road by 6AM and we live 45 minutes from Downtown. We hit traffic like you wouldn't believe. At 6AM it could take you over an hour to get to Downtown. Fortunately, we are eligible to take the HOV lane. What really chaps my hide is the way people drive. You'd think they were tearing off of "pit row" when they come off the entrance ramps.

Thank goodness my wife is the one driving. I get such anxiety and panic attacks in this traffic

Ray and the Severed Coax

2006-04-10T14:21:00.000-05:00

Well, as my previous post stated, I sliced cleanly through the coaxial cable for our TV and RoadRunner internet with my new gas-powered lawn edger.

At first I was really pissed at myself. But then I remembered that this was something my dad has done before so I called my parents. Sure enough, I was right. My dad has done this before, except he did it with a axe while trying to remove roots near their house's foundation. Through a tip from Chris who runs ToadGames.com, my dad was told there was a kit you could buy a Radio Shack which quickly resolves the situation.

Currently, it was 8:00PM and we were pretty sure they were open until 9:00PM. So while I was driving to Radio Shack my mom was looking up the phone number for Time Warner Cable so that Nancy could call and get a service ticket issued to get it repair more permanently. Just as luck would have it, our Radio Shack closed at 8:00PM. I came home a bit upset, but at the same time a bit relieved that I wouldn't be out in the dark repairing the cable with a flashlight clenched between my teeth.

Nancy was meeting me at the door with the news that Time Warner had an installer in our neighborhood the next day and would just send them by after they were done but that could be anytime between 8AM and 8PM. So we spent the night watching programming on our DVR.

The next day came and Nancy called the service line for Time Warner to see if they locked a better time range for us, but alas that wasn't the case. So back to Radio Shack I went.

Sure enough, Radio Shack had the kit and plenty of them. Apparently, I'm not the only one severing coax this time of year. While I was there, I picked up some speaker wire and some banana clip adaptors for my home stereo.

So as to not completely was a trip out, I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and pick up a copy of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe which came out earlier in the week. While I was as it I picked up the soundtrack also. Nancy is finding soundtracks to be good studying music.

So I get back home and start to work on the cable and quickly find out I don't have the right tools to strip coax or to crimp the connector. I call my parents to see if I could borrow theirs. They should have them since they've encountered this problem themselves. Alas, no dice. Apparently those tools have gone the way of the odd sock in the dryer.

So, now I was going back to Radio Shack again. So I had to pick up a coax stripper, coax cutter and crimpers.

This time I was set. I got back home, changed into some clothes that I could get dirty (my well worn denim jeans with the hole in the crotch......long pants with air conditioning). Within 15 minutes I had the line patched and the TV and internet was working!

After accomplishing that task, Nancy was in the mood for hamburgers on the grill. So as luck would have it, while I was cooking on the grill, the Time Warner service technician shows up to repair our line. Oh well, my patch was good for at least an hour :)