When one door closes, another window must be opened.

Well, this marked the first week that Nancy started working the shift that she was hired to work (3PM - 3AM). It started on Sunday night.

To me it was no big deal, I'd head over to my brother's house and eat some food and watch his family play the PS2.

Well, as soon as Nancy took off, I decided that I would install the new programmeable thermostat we got from Lowe's. I just cannot stand to use a thermostat where you set it and have to change it manually whenever you want the temperature to change.

Firstly, the part of the wall that holds the thermostat isn't in an easy to get to area. There is a treadmill in the way and an antique china hutch. So I had to move the china hutch to the left to make room on the wall for the new, wider thermostat.

Naturally, it wasn't a simple task like I thought it would be. First I had difficulty figuring out how to remove the face off the old thermostat so I could get at the screws to detach it from the wall. Eventually I had it figured out but not after a few choice words were rolling off my tongue.

I prefer to work these kind of projects when my wife isn't around because I don't have to be subjected to her disapproving stares when words that are on the "banned" list are uttered.

So now I have the old thermostat removed and I lined up the new thermostat and found out that the holes in the wall from the old screws were in perfect alignment to the screw holes in the new thermostat. I was sure it was a good sign. I screw the back of the new thermostat in, snap the wires into their appropriate place and put everything in it's place and step back to admire my handiwork.

At this time I knew I wasn't going to make it to my brother's house by 5:30PM for dinner, so I call to tell him. He tells me to just show up whenever I can make it.

Well, I go to program the thermostat and noticed that the thermostat wasn't flush up against the wall. So I pop the face off and notice that the screws don't tighten down to the wall. So unscrew the entire thing because I was going to use the little thingies that came with the thermostat that you stick into the drywall to give the screws some "bite". Well it looks like I was lucky and I could just push the "thingies" into the wall and tap with the hammer to push them flush.

I wasn't that lucky. One tap of the hammer caused the thingie to bend over sideways. I was pissed and more "banned" words began flowing. So I pulled out the instructions to see what size drill bit is suggested. I go out the garage to get my drill bits and a pair of needle-nose pliers. I use the pliers to pull out the thingie and use the drill bit to open up the hold some more.

I'm the kind of person who throws all the extra parts from projects into my tool box. So I spent the next 30 minutes looking for some extra thingies because I don't tend to use them. I was sure the one I ruined was not useable anymore. I wasn't lucky enough to find a thingie of the same size so I just grabbed one from the tool box and mumbled my way back to the thermostat.

Well, I got lucky and the the thingie was still useable so I tapped both of them into the wall and was able to screw the thermostat plate tight against the wall and got the thermostat reassembled. Everything seemed to be working.

So I called my brother to let him know that I was done with the thermostat and all I needed to do was feed and walk the dogs and head on over.

So the dogs got taken care of and I decided I should put my tools away before heading to my brothers. So I head out to the garage and as I make my way through the door, I pull the door behind me out of habit so the dogs won't run out. As I walked into the garage, I heard a click and immediate turned around screaming, "NO!". I knew what I had just done. I locked myself out. I reached to check the doorknob fully aware that the answer would be that the door wasn't going to open.

You see, the new house we are in has a locking doorknob. There isn't a deadbolt like what I'm used to. I'm not used to the lock being on the doorknob so out of habit, I just closed the door since I have always had to manually lock the door iwth a key.

Well, the first thing I did was looked to see if there was a window that wasn't locked. Which there wasn't. But there was a window, that for some reason wasn't on it's track.

I called my brother to tell him I wasn't coming because I was locked out. His first suggestion was that I break out a window. I didn't like that idea because I didn't want to piss of my wife or the property manager. His next suggestion was that I knock the doorknob off the door. This would cause the part of the door that has the lock on it to be removed and therefore rendering the door openable. Well, just as luck would have it, the hammer was locked in side.

My sister-in-law suggested that I try to find something flexible enough to slide through the side of the door to pop the latch, but that was unobtainable too.

Well, I decided to walk up to the property manager's office to see if there was anyone there, but there wasn't. So I walked back.

Well, as I was digging through my toolboxes for the umpteenth time, I noticed a roll of very stiff electrical wire that was left over from an installation of a garage door opener and I looked at it with a hint of possibility. I was wondering if I could fashion a loop on one end and fish it through the crack in the window and pop the other latch. After about 10 tries I got it and was in. Granted the window only opened a little bit and I had to do a limbo number to get through the window.

Well, I was going in feet first because I'm better balanced that way and step in dog crap. Apparently, my dogs snuck into that room and pooped on the floor near the window. But it didn't matter, I was in the house.

I immediatly called my wife and let her know I was no longer locked out of the house just in case she got the first message I left when the ordeal all started. So that she would know that I wasn't sitting on the back stoop with only my cellphone.

Afterwards, I called my brother and let him know I was in the house now. He asked me if I was still coming over and I told him that I would if he was still willing to accept the company. He asked me to grab a few Texas beers I had in the fridge (beer from Texas has a greater alcohol content than Oklahoma beer). I grabbed 4 Shiner Bocks and hit the road.

That beer sure hit the spot....mmmmmm